|NFL Power Rankings|
Houston Texans (3-2)Kris Brown kicked fielders of 54, 54 and 57 to win the Miami game, despite having taken pain killers for a sprain in his plant foot. You know, I think I saw that movie: The Horror in the Botanical Gardens, starring Plant Foot.
New York Giants (3-2)Rookie cornerback Aaron Ross turned the Jets game around with two picks. "I wouldn't trade him for the world," said fellow cornerback Sam Madison. Let's not be too hasty, Sam. Ross for the world? I think I'd make that deal. I mean think of all the great things you could have, such as a Honus Wagner baseball card or all the potato salad you ever wanted.
Washington Redskins (3-1)After the Skins slaughtered Detroit, their DE Phillip Daniels said, "I got tired of hearing about their offense all week. No one ever talked about our defense." I did a quick survey in my own town of Denville, N.J. All of you who heard about Detroit's offense all week raise your hands. None. How about Washington's defense? Practically every hand went up. "Nobody was talking about anything else," said Dominic from Attilio's Ristorante.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2)Careful, all you wage earners out there. Bucs, at home, are favored over Tennessee by a little field goal, but the Titans, under Jeff Fisher, are 13-1 against the NFC South.
San Diego Chargers (2-3)Well awwriiight! I knew they'd turn it around. Coming up are Oakland, bye, Houston and Vikings on the road. They could be 5-3 when they face the Colts at home. Hey, can all that. I forgot that I'm playing 'em one game at a time.
Chicago Bears (2-3)First of all, I want to apologize to Josh, a Bears fan from Decatur, Ill., who e-mailed me that it was kind of nutso, throwing 52 times against Detroit, and I gave him some cockamamie answer, based on the lack of running in the first half. I hadn't seen enough of the second half when I mail-bagged him that response. After digesting the entire tape (and it tasted terrible), I agree with you. Made no sense, especially since they were finding some running lanes after the intermission. But then again, after watching Cedric Benson, king of the 2-yard runners, pussyfooting his way along against the Packers, I'm of mixed minds -- half man, half plant foot. Can you imagine, keeping this guy ahead of anybody, especially a decent runner such as Thomas Jones?
Carolina Panthers (3-2)I wish I would have known how bad the QB situation was when I made my pick for the magazine Sunday night, choosing them over Arizona in an upset. But let's be positive. John Fox has won his last five on the road. He'll have a vicious rush package in place for Kurt Warner. Still not convinced? I'm not sure I am either.
Detroit Lions (3-2)We now wave farewell to the last winning record on our board. Why is that whenever they lose, it's in such terrible fashion? I guarantee they will not lose this Sunday, and one look at the schedule will tell you bye, I mean why.
Cleveland Browns (2-3)One thing saddened me, the rather lackluster play of my 2006 Super Sleeper all pro strong safety, Sean Jones. Not terrible against the Patriots, but not at all-star level, either. I know one thing. You can't blame it on the fact that he was reading his press clippings, because the only ones he got were from me.
Philadelphia Eagles (1-3)Don't know why they reside here, when teams with better records live below. Nostalgia, I guess. Ssssh, I was born in this town.