<b><i>"Warning sign in port-a-potty: "Excessive use will result in unsatisfactory conditions." Okay, I will try to keep it to a minimum."(5:04 pm, March 21)</b></i> <br><br>Don't make promises you can't keep.
2 of 8Courtesy of The Golf Channel
<b><i>Tom Rinaldi: You said you were in treatment. The simple question is, for what?<br>Tiger Woods: That's a private matter as well. But I can tell you what, it was tough, it was really tough to look at yourself in a light that you never want to look at yourself, that's pretty brutal.</b></i>
3 of 8Robert Laberge/Getty Images
<b><i>"The walk of shame shouldn't be called the walk of shame if you had a good time."(2:36 pm, March 21)</b></i><br><br>We're not quite sure the name has anything to do with the kind of "time" you had.
4 of 8Steven Lawton/FilmMagic
<b><i>"U know when u got a hot chick? When she is sitting on the toilet and still looks hot as hell."(1:56 am, March 22)</b></i><br><br>So first dates in bathrooms are a must?
5 of 8David E. Klutho/SI
<b><i>"Georgetown is getting dawged right now lol this is dumb crazy!!!!! But am I surprised??! Nahhhhh"(8:03 pm, March 18)<br><br> "Suck on that spike lee!!!!!"(9:32 pm, March 18)</b></i><br><br>Don't expect him to direct your life story anytime soon.
6 of 8Greg Nelson/SI
<b><i>"I think gilboe and I are gonna retire with our 3-0 record in bags- the ultimate backyard bbq game (although I love bocci ball)"(10:19 pm, March 21)</b></i><br><br>What happened to horseshoes?
7 of 8Greg Nelson/SI
<b><i>"RT @sportsguy33: Playoff beards! Whole team needs them RT: What's the 1 thing u think the Suns need to work on before the playoffs?( lmao)"(7:08 pm, March 21)</b></i><br><br>Bill Simmons, ladies and gentlemen.
8 of 8Courtesy of Zuffa
<b><i>"Is anybody else still pissed that you can't jump around and play on the clouds"(2:02 pm, March 22)</b></i><br><br>You mean you can't? Weren't you on Fear Factor?
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