The jokes write themselves.
"You're trying to put together an all-time Knicks team that'll lose as many games as possible? Put all the players on a wall and start throwing darts!"
Yeah. Good times.
Despite the fact that it's been a rough couple of decades, the Knicks actually have enough of a storied history to make this task a real challenge. With several iterations of legitimately great teams, several of which were good enough to make the Finals, more talent has passed through MSG's doors than most younger fans realize.
So going into this, I knew that creating a team designed to tank would be far more difficult than the challenge Steve Mills and Scott Perry had in front of them last summer.
(What's that? They thought they were heading where? In real life? I don't believe you...)
I did have an ace in the hole though: if I could avoid taking one of New York's few competent point guards and I put together a team with poor enough shot creation and terrible spacing, I'd have a shot.
I started off with the immortal Chris Dudley, he of the career 41 percent conversion rate from the line. At this point, I thought I might be able to put together a team of nothing but clunky bigs, but Kenny Wooten and Jarred Jeffries going off the board before I picked next made that nearly impossible, so I went with Moe Harkless in the second round and Kevin Knox in the third - two 3 & D players minus the "3" (and in Knox's case, the "D").
I was really trying to avoid taking guards altogether, but had to go with Damyean Dotson in the fourth round, simply because his 73 rating was so much lower than anyone else available.
My last pick left me with a tough choice. Tricky Dick Barnett was the lowest rated player available, but taking another center like Willis Reed or Mitchell Robinson could irreparably damage my team's spacing. But such a squad might also dominate the offensive glass to the point that they'd eek out some wins. I went with Barnett.
Now it's time to take out my tanking hat a few months early and see how point Dotson does running an NBA offense without a single above average 3-point shooter.
May the worst team lose.