By Ben Golliver
January 30, 2014

David Stern visited CBS's "Late Show With David Letterman" Wednesday to deliver a list of the "Top Ten things I've learned in my 30 years as commissioner of the NBA."

Saturday will mark the official end of Stern's three-decade tenure as the NBA's top executive. Stern announced in Oct. 2012 that he would step aside and hand over the commissioner's job to current deputy commissioner Adam Silver on Feb. 1. Earlier this week, it was reported that Silver will tap Mark Tatum, the NBA's executive vice president of global marketing partnerships, to serve as the league's next deputy commissioner.

Stern, 71, oversaw the globalization of the sport, the expansion of the league to 30 teams, and a major explosion in the NBA's television revenues. Here's his Top Ten list of things he learned along the way, which predictably included a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor.

10. Dr. J is not a licensed physician.

9. The swish sound is made by a guy standing behind the basket.

8. I could watch a stuck ball get poked with a broom all day.

7. When international diplomacy is required, call Dennis Rodman.

6. I'm the only guy in the league who was Bar Mitzhvah'd.

5. No NBA star has ever made a bad motion picture.

4. The lowest-paid mascot in the league makes $5 million a year.

3. Moisten needle before inserting.

2. I am an inspiration to short, un-athletic kids everywhere.

1. I hear sneaker squeaks in my sleep.

Video via YouTube user NBA

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