Cowboys' Jerry Jones On Farm Animals' Lovemaking: Top 10 'Jerryisms'
FRISCO - A few year ago, the NFL was involved in labor negotiations with its players, and owners made what they - and Dallas Cowboys Jerry Jones - believed was more than fair.
As detailed in a lengthy ESPN piece by Don Van Natta and Seth Wickersham, Jones used a down-home (but wildly original) analogy to explain the mistake that has just been made on the other side of the negotiating table.
“Look, my daddy grew up on a farm in southwest Missouri,” Jerry told his fellow owners. “Every so often in the spring, the wind would come from a different part of the country, and the moon would set a different way, and the owls would start f------g the chickens. The owls are f-----g the chickens.''
This was, of course, yet another “Jerryism,” one of the many kooky and clever colloquialisms that come flying out the mouth of the vociferous Cowboys owner.
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It so happens that the owns-and-chickens thing actually does make (some) sense. What Jones was saying is that the players had turned down an offer that would never get better ... and indeed, when he added, "It makes no sense that they turned this down, but it’s a great thing for us'' ... he was correct. Because as Van Natta and Wickersham note, the eventual deal signed by the players was $1 billion less than the original offer.
So ... Jerry's farm-animals thing now goes into my top 10 Jerryisms, collected from my 31 years covering the man and his team. That top 10:
10) The owls are f-----g the chickens.''
9) "Mr. Miiiike ... Deadlines ... make deals.''
8) Managing a business is "like holding two handfuls of Jell-O and trying to keep it all in those two hands.''
Addendum: Managing a business is (also) "like balancin' peas on a platter.''
7) "I'm on my back, looking up (due to losing), and all I see is ass. I want a different perspective."
6) And while he's down there, "I feel as low as a crippled cricket's ass.''
5) "All I can say right now is that (rookie Troy Aikman) looks good in the shower."
Addendum: There was also a comment about the attractiveness of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. But I think I'll skip that one.
4) On Dak Prescott's physical approach, "He's the daddy!''
Addendum: Jerry also likes to refer to dominant D-linemen as "the War Daddy.''
3) On details: "You're gettin' down to circumcisin' mosqui-tahs."
2) On why he long-preferred a flip-phone: "No butt-dialin'.''
1) "I want me some glory hole!"
CONTINUE READING: Is Dak Prescott Really 'Like Family' To Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones?
