Whitt's End: NFL Draft Winners? Cowboys. Losers, Eagles, Of Course
Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End 5.1.20 ...
*Biggest winners of the draft: Cowboys. Teams that play the Eagles and Packers in 2020.
Both those teams - each of them rivals of a sort to Dallas - picked QBs just high enough to make the incumbent QBs restless.
Good. For Dallas.
And all of us, who for the first time in six weeks finally were treated to something resembling a sporting event. By the way, betting favorite to be the No. 1 pick in the 2021 draft is Clemson quarterback Trevor Lawrence, followed by Ohio State quarterback Justin Fields.
*It’s February 1, 2000 and I’m on the basketball court behind Mark Cuban’s mansion, interviewing and shooting hoops with the Dallas Mavericks’ presumptive owner (he’d not yet been approved by the league’s board of governors).
Suddenly Cuban is distracted, and darts across the court to talk to a robe-cloaked man appearing in the doorway of the sprawling property’s pool house.
“You good?!” Cuban yells.
“Yep,” responds Dennis Rodman. “It’s on!”
Sure enough, "The Last Dance'' for Rodman was in Dallas. To say the least, it was a memorable – yet simultaneously forgettable – 30 days of Rodmania.
After his peak as ferocious rebounder/defender that helped the Bulls win the NBA title in 1998, Rodman, 38, signed with the Mavericks for the purpose of marketing mayhem. The move was part Cuban wanting to generate some buzz about the moribund franchise/part head coach Don Nelson’s lust for creative tinkering.
It worked, sorta.
Rodman’s first game at Reunion Arena drew the second-largest crowd in franchise history. In his second, he was ejected – and subsequently suspended - for sitting on the court in protest. During his 12-game stint he was typical Rodzilla, gobbling rebounds, dominating headlines and, ultimately, monkeying around with team chemistry. He wore No. 70 (only because the NBA nixed 69), sported blonde hair with blue splotches and harpooned the Mavs in the standings. Before he arrived, they had won 10 of 13 games. During his cameo they went 3-9. In his first five games he produced a uniquely Rodman stat line: 75 rebounds, 10 points, four technical fouls, two ejections, one suspension and $13,500 in fines.
Though it was often difficult to decipher his mindset – he could, however, literally roll out of bed with Carmen Electra and grab 10 rebounds – Rodman was never fully engaged in Dallas. During Nellie’s pre-game speeches, he showered. During Nellie’s post-game speeches, he lifted weights. He blasted Cuban for being “too damn close, like Jerry Jones or something …” and gave a brutal assessment of Dallas’ roster, saying the team needed “a backup center, a starting center, a true power forward and, I don’t know, at least a couple of guards.”
In one game at Utah he traded elbows with long-time nemesis Karl Malone while yelling at the closest referee, “If you’re not even gonna pay attention to my shit I’ll just retire!” Blaming his back spasms, the Mavs officially released Rodman March 8, 2000.
The night before, he grabbed 15 boards in the final game of his 14-season, Hall-of-Fame career. (In Rodman’s final four NBA games his rebound totals were 21, 19, 8 and 15.) He started at power forward for the Mavs in Seattle, in the quirkiest of lineups that featured Erick Strickland at point, Michael Finley at the 2, 7-foot-6 Shawn Bradley at center and a gangly, second-year player named Dirk Nowitzki at small forward. (Steve Nash, for what it’s worth, was the sixth man.) Rodman grabbed the last of his 11,954 rebounds – an offensive putback of a Strickland miss – with 3:45 left in the loss to the Sonics.
Said Nash, “Dennis wanted the limelight, but he never really wanted to be a Maverick.”
*Zero chance of Dak Prescott no-showing Dallas Cowboys’ training camp this summer. Whether it’s in Oxnard or Frisco, he’ll be there. The quarterback that played for $2 million in 2019 will certainly suck it up and play for $31 million in 2020.
*Day 51 without sports … Per Governor Greg Abbott’s nonsensical order, Texas is soft re-launch Friday. Open: Restaurants. Theaters. Malls. Museums. Still closed: Bars. Salons. Gyms. Bottom line: We can eat/go to movies/shop at the mall, but we gotta do it while fat, unkempt and sober.
*Not that CeeDee Lamb wasn’t a savvy draft pick, but history suggests the Cowboys didn’t have to use a No. 1 to nab a receiver with a high return rate.
Of the Cowboys’ 25 all-time most productive receivers (culled from their Top 20 in catches/yards/touchdowns), undrafted free agents (Drew Pearson, Miles Austin, Cole Beasley) are more prevalent than Round 1 picks (Michael Irvin, Dez Bryant). While Irvin resides in Canton and Bryant is the franchise’s all-time leader in receiving touchdowns, there are more third-rounders (Jason Witten, Tony Hill, Doug Cosbie, Butch Johnson, Terrance Williams) and, for that matter, running backs (Emmitt Smith, Tony Dorsett, Daryl Johnston, Herschel Walker, Ron Springs) than lofty-pick wide receivers among their top 25 pass-catchers.
My very subjective breakdown:
1st rounders (4) – Irvin/ Bryant/ Billy Joe Dupree/ Terry Glenn (Patriots)
2nd rounder (1) – Lance Rentzel (Vikings)
3rd rounders (6) – Witten/ Hill/ Cosbie/ Williams/ Johnson/ Terrell Owens (49ers)
4th rounders (2) – Kelvin Martin/ Mike Renfro
5th rounder (1) – Mike Clarke (Browns)
6th rounder (1) – Jay Novacek (Cardinals)
7th rounders (2) – Bob Hayes/ Patrick Crayton
Running Backs (5) – Smith/ Dorsett/ Johnston/ Walker/ Springs
Undrafted (3) – Pearson/ Austin/ Beasley
Having said all of that, as I write above: Amari + Gallup + Lamb could = all-time special.
*I’m generally skeptical about karma and auras and hocus-pocus “messages.” My reality leans more toward an equation of science + sports. But what happened to me Wednesday is more than a little freaky.
For a writing project, I’ve been interviewing a manifesting manifester. The gist: You can think stuff into existence. The law of attraction and whatnot. So, what the heck, I tried it. My “coach” told me to clear my mind and do something nice for someone, without expecting gratitude or reciprocation. Then be open and aware of the “universe” validating my action.
Mmm, okay.
My deed was to send a friend who has been down in the dumps some old photos and stories of her all-time favorite player, Roger Staubach. She was very appreciative, but then … I took my Dad to a routine Leukemia checkup at a cancer center in Fort Worth and was drawn to a photo hanging behind the front desk. Sure enough, Staubach, chatting with Tom Landry. Kinda goose-bumpy, gotta admit. Was that my validation? Or just awareness on high alert? Later that night I was showing friends around the new house. One of them perused an old, dusty, obsolete bookshelf bound for the donation pile in the garage. “Hey look,” my buddy says, “I bet this is a good read.”
He hands me the book: The Last Cowboy: The Life of Tom Landry.
Now my goosebumps have goosebumps.
*Day 52 without sports … Crazy the stuff you find yourself watching during quarantine. Somehow stumbled upon Marrying Millions on the Lifetime channel (don’t judge; no, actually do). It’s an incredibly horrible and painfully-staged “reality” show starring rich folks and their bizarre romantic partners.
One couple was a 61-year-old Dallas multimillionaire and his 21-year-old girlfriend. And one woman was Josh Hamilton’s ex-wife. Yep, Katie Hamilton – the woman who aggressively and fervently defended all of her Beyond Belief husband’s transgressions – was on the show, now divorced from the former Texas Rangers’ slugger and dating her 23-year-old daughter’s 23-year-old friend.
In a related story, I really, really miss sports.
*Globe Life Field is the Christmas gift we still can’t open. We’ve already missed out on 18 Rangers’ games at their new digs, including series against the Astros and Yankees. Said general manager Jon Daniels this week about the possible return of baseball, “We’re continuing to do what we can to keep our players in some state of readiness, but we have not begun planning for any sort of re-start.”
*Some organizations retire legendary uniform numbers. The Cowboys recycle them, like some form of eco-friendly, hallowed hand-me downs. Last we heard, Lamb wanted to wear No. 10. But now comes word from our Mike Fisher that – surprise – Jerry is getting his way and the rookie will wear No. 88 like Pearson, Irvin and Bryants Antonio and Dez before him.
I guess I’m OK with the “lineage of greatness” thing. But, at the same time, here’s hoping Cuban doesn’t try to persuade Luka Doncic into switching to No. 41.
*Day 53 without sports … Pretty proud of this column so far. Who knows, maybe it will get nominated for a “Noble” Prize?
*In the 1984 NBA Draft, Mavs’ GM Norm Sonju tried to trade up from No. 4 to select Michael Jordan. Unable to engineer a deal, he stayed put and took Jordan’s teammate, Sam Perkins. At No. 5, the Sixers drafted Charles Barkley. Perkins had his moments in Dallas, but that’s a regrettable, historic Hall-of-Fame sandwich.
*Day 54 without sports … After digesting Episode 4 of ESPN's “Last Dance” it struck me: Donald Trump is the “Bad Boys” Pistons. Polarizing champ. Fierce competitor. Extraordinary agitator. More bully than refined skill. Brash back-to-back winner? Sore, “rigged” loser that will despise – even skip? – power-relinquishing handshake?
*Hot.
*Not.
*Ominous tones from Big 12 Commissioner Bob Bowlsby Thursday on SiriusXM regarding Texas-OU, set for Oct. 12 in the Cotton Bowl: “When you think about a petri dish for spreading infection, can you think of one that’s better than the State Fair of Texas? People are jammed in there and they’re enthusiastic. It’s about a perfect place to transmit any kind of inflection.”
*Gloating over grades two days after the NFL Draft is as silly/premature as high-fiving right when you're done unpacking the groceries. In both cases, accurate evaluation only comes after the meal is cooked.
That said, gloat away. A report card with 90 percent A's can’t be a bad thing.
*And, just in case Will McClay, the Cowboys and Jerry's yacht were getting too big for their NFL Draft britches, 2017 1st-rounder Taco Charlton has been released by the Dolphins. Yes, already.
*Day 55 without sports … After all these years the government finally admits there are UFOs, but now we’re too busy worrying about where to safely get a haircut to care.
*More miss than hit, in 61 drafts the Cowboys have spent their first overall pick on a wide receiver five times. The good: Irvin (’88) and Bryant (’10). The bad: Dennis Holman (’68), Mike Sherrard (’86) and Kevin Williams (’93). Other whiffs on high (1st- and 2nd-round) picks include Alvin Harper (huge catch vs. Niners notwithstanding), Antonio Bryant, Alexander Wright, Jimmy Smith (huge career with Jaguars notwithstanding), Doug Donley, Charlie McKee, Margene Adkins and Dave McDaniels.
*Day 55 without sports … The Center for Disease Control strongly suggests wearing a mask to protect yourself and others from the spread of COVID-19. Racking my brain for reasons that people don’t.
1) View them as an inconvenience or ding to image/fashion.
2) View virus as an overhyped hoax and masks as an unwarranted sign of affirmation/weakness.
3) Blatant narcissism and disregard.
4) Verifiable stupidity, lacking comprehension to value of mask or consequences of not wearing one.
5) Serve as Vice President.
*Even though ours is better than theirs, Andy Dalton is Cincinnati’s version of Tony Romo. Good players that were never quite good enough. Both started for nine seasons, with Romo owning modest edges in most metrics (yards, completion percentage, touchdowns, fewer interceptions, more Pro Bowls).
The playoffs defined both ultimate underachievers.
Romo was 2-4 (despite throwing eight touchdowns to only two interceptions) and Dalton a hideous 0-4 (with six picks to just one score). Unfathomable stat: Dalton never threw a single pass in the playoffs while the Bengals had the lead. In their respective cities they will be revered for what they did, but reviled for what they didn’t.
*Day 56 without sports … Meat shortage? Good. Always thought America could stand a month or two going Vegan – involuntary or otherwise.
*During the NFL Draft, Bud Light ran a #BooTheCommish campaign with every video of a fan booing prompting a $1 charitable donation. The loudest “boos” were posted by the Saints, who obviously still remember the missed pass interference call in the 2018 NFC Championship Game. Fifth-most boos came from Cowboys fans, who obviously are generally grumpy in light of a quarter of a century without even a hint of a Super Bowl.
*Sign of the times: The Lakers – worth $4 billion according to Forbes – received $4 million as part of America’s economic stimulus to help small businesses. The cool part is that they returned the money. The crappy part is that they applied for the funds in the first place.
The Lakers asked for the loan under the Small Business Administration’s Paycheck Protection Program, a part of the federal government's $2.2 trillion stimulus package. The Lakers’ request was granted in the first round of distribution, but after the fund ran out of money in less than two weeks the team returned its loan, as did several wealthier businesses including Shake Shack and AutoNation.
Do they get credit for returning the money? Or criticized for asking for it in the first place? Or both?
*Day 57 without sports … These days we do everything online. Pay taxes. Send bills. Transfer money. Order food. Fill out the Census. Choose spouses. Opine on the color of a dress. Vote for sports All-Stars. Why should electing our President be any different? Online voting should be a thing. No-brainer.
*Of the Top 15 most productive receivers in NFL history, only one – Chargers’ tight end Antonio Gates – wasn’t drafted. Only two – Cris Carter and Steve Largent – were taken after the 3rd round.
*Day 59 without sports … Happy 87th Birthday to Texas icon Willie Nelson who, admittedly, I’m surprised is still with us.
*Goodbye April 2020, the month that lasted 30 days years.
*This Weekend? I know where I’m NOT going. Malls and/or theaters. Hard pass. Might have to break down and somehow, some way, get a haircut. Last one was March 3. As always, don’t be a stranger.
