Herewith, 25 of the most funny, insightful or just plain famous quotes from the world of pro and college football: "Football is easy if you're crazy as hell."
2 of 25John Iacono, John G. Zimmerman/SI
"Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors."
3 of 25Walter Iooss Jr./SI
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
4 of 25Georgia Tech/Collegiate Images/Getty Images
"Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a young boy than to fumble this football." Honorable mention : "When in doubt, punt!"
5 of 25Scott Cunningham/Getty Images
"The NFL, like life, is full of idiots."
6 of 25Bob Rosato/SI
"Get your popcorn ready ‘cause I’m gonna put on a show."
7 of 25John Iacono, Heinz Kluetmeier/SI
"The shoulder surgery was a success. The lobotomy failed." – on quarterback Jim McMahon
8 of 25Ross Lewis/Getty Images; Walter Iooss Jr./SI
Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson
"Terry Bradshaw is so dumb he couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T." (Bradshaw’s reply: "I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.")
9 of 25Walter Iooss Jr./SI
"I never graduated college, but I was only there for two terms -- Truman’s and Eisenhower’s."
10 of 25Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
11 of 25AP
"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad."
12 of 25Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images
" The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer." Honorable mentions: "The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break." "If you see a defense with dirt and mud on their backs, they've had a bad day."
13 of 25Scott Halleran/Getty Images
"We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now."
14 of 25George Rose/Getty Images
"It’s a good idea. I’m in favor of it." – When asked what he thought of his team’s execution after a 21-0 loss to Cincinnati in 1976. Honorable mentions: "We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking." "Emotion is overrated. My wife is very emotional. She can't play football worth a damn."
15 of 25Lane Stewart, John G. Zimmerman/SI
"He could take his'n and beat your'n or he could take your'n and beat his'n." – About legendary Alabama head coach Bear Bryant, for whom Phillips played.
16 of 25John Iacono/SI
"How ‘bout them Cowboys?" Honorable mention: "If I didn’t enjoy gloating so much, I wouldn’t do so many interviews."
17 of 25Focus On Sport/Getty Images; Walter Iooss Jr./SI
"I’ve got news for you. We’re gonna win the game. I guarantee it." – Before Super Bowl III Honorable mention: "I don't know if I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf."
18 of 25Mike Powell, George Rose/Getty Images
"I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl." (Raiders linebacker Matt Millen replied, "To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom, too.")
19 of 25Walter Iooss Jr./SI
"If it’s the ultimate game, why are they playing it again next year?" – About the Super Bowl
20 of 25Greg Foster, Neil Leifer/SI
"When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something"
21 of 25John Cordes/Icon SMI; Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images
"Now that I’m retired, I want to say that all defensive linemen are sissies."
22 of 25Focus on Sport/Getty Images; Andy Hayt/SI
"Al Davis is the kind of guy who would steal your eyes and then try to convince you that you looked better without them"
23 of 25Notre Dame/Collegiate Images/Getty Images; TSN/Icon SMI
"Some time, Rock, when the team is up against it, when things are wrong and the breaks are beating the boys, ask them to go in there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock. But I'll know about it, and I'll be happy. " -- Spoken on his death bed to coach Knute Rockne, who used Gipp’s plea to rally Notre Dame to a 12-6 upset of undefeated Army at Yankee Stadium on Nov. 10, 1928.
24 of 25Kevin Reece/Icon SMI
"If you’re a pro coach, NFL stands for ‘Not for long. ’ "
25 of 25Neil Leifer/SI
"Winning isn’t everything, but the will to win is everything." (Often stated as "Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.") Honorable mentions: "If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm."
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