The Texans Guide, The Kubiak Dictionary

Patrick D. Starr

When you looks at the Texans you have to look no further that their fearless Head Coach in Gary Kubiak, going into his 6th season as a the leader of the team, with a 39-43 career record.


This is a comprehensive guide to the "lingo" that Head Coach Gary Kubiak uses when he talks to the media, so you really understand what he is saying.

Battle Fighter Probably one of the most celebrated lines out of Coach Kubiak's mouth, but if you are described as a "Battle Fighter" consider your self lucky. You have been bestowed a great description which means you are one of his favorites.

Example: Jacoby Jones is a battle fighter.

Football Player- A descriptive word from Coach usually about an opposing player, which pretty means they are a bad ass. Definitely a player the Texans are worried about.

Example- When you think of Peyton Manning you think a football player.

Good Guy- Probably this kiss of death, and if he says you are a good guy then things are not going well. If he is asked about you during the preseason and describes you as a good guy, get your bags ready.

Example: Steve Slaton is a good guy.

Good Football Team- This goes hand in hand with the good football player description. This is a generic term for EVERY team that the Texans face, it is Coach's way to not show his hand on his TRUE feelings on the upcoming opponent.

Example: The Jacksonville Jaguars are a good football team.

Hard Worker- Another one of Coach's favorite, usually talking about one of his own players. Secretly he is saying talent wise he is not one of the best on the team, but he is good enough to get the job done.

Example- When you think of Jesse Nading, the first thing I think of his hard worker.

He has a high Football I.Q.- With this Coach likes the player's who think on the field. He feels like they are like him, high football I.Q. According to Coach he has plenty on his current roster.

Example- Kevin Walter has a High Football I.Q. when he is on the field for us.

Heckuv a job- This has to another one of the great ones, and this means things are going well for the Texans. This is one of the best compliments you can get from Coach for your performance.

Example- Rick Smith does a heckuv a job for us everyday looking for players to make us better.

Heckuv a player- See above, same idea but using the player for the opposing team or one of his own.

Example- Every time Ed Reed lines up for the Ravens at safety he make them better, he is one heckuv a player.

Hell of a Player-  This is Coach's way to put emphasis on how elite a player is. If you hear this one of two things are happening, he is excited about one of the Texans or he is worried as "hell" about an opponents, that's why "hell" is used.

Example- They have Haloti Hgata, and he is one hell of a player.

High Motor- This is one of my favorites, but this is used to describe the overachiever on the team. Once you hear the word "high motor" think of the little engine that could.

Example: Tim Bulman has a high motor.

It's On Me- Usually used after a tough loss and to keep the media off of his players and to stop asking about a particular player. It's Coach's way of taking one for the team.

Example: The fumble on the goal line? It's on me, we have to put our players in better positions to win.

We will see where we are at-  Another deflection phrase in order to answer the media's question to a later date. Once again is said when the media is questioning an injury or playing time for players.

Example: With Tate running the ball so good it's a nice luxury, but we will see where we are at.

You Know- This is code for "Shut the F*&^ up!", this is usually used when a media person asks him a stupid question, usually from John McClain.


McClain: With Mario out does it hurt the defense.

Coach Kubiak: You know, John....

Can you think of any more? Add them to the comments below.

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