Williams is either the most hopeless druggie ever to play in the NFL or the most enlightened one. Either way, his continued dalliance with illegal substances got him booted from the NFL again in 2006. The Dolphins' loss, though, is the Canadians' gain. Or the Dolphins' gain is the CFL's loss...
2 of 13John W. McDonough/SI
We could cry foul on Bonds just for being his grouchy, old self for much of the 2006 season. Instead, we'll lay this latest Bird on him in recognition of the friendly, joking, sometime tearful family man and all-around good-guy teammate he portrayed in the forgettable and aborted ESPN miniseries, <i>Bonds on Bonds</i>. Man, what an actor!
3 of 13AP
The former NHL All-Star has been fingered by a dirty cop-turned-informant as a partner in a multi-million dollar gambling ring. And that's the clean version. Wayne Gretzky's wife, Janet Jones, also was implicated. By the time the authorities sort out this thing, it'll make Pete Rose look like a railbird at the $2 window.
4 of 13AP
When Terrell Owens overdosed in September, his publicist, Etheridge, pooh-poohed reports of an attempted suicide. "Terrell," Ms. Etheredge said, "has 25 million reasons why he should be alive." Just as we thought; money (T.O.'s three year, $25 million contract) does buy happiness! T.O. wasn't happy with the help: "I wouldn't say that it was the most ideal thing to say."
5 of 13AP
An assistant coach with a youth football team in California, Petero takes the Turkey for amateur idiot of the year after he bolted onto the field and blindsided a kid -- a kid! -- who had put a late hit on his son. Then he jumped over a fence and ran. When the cops finally caught the coward, they charged him with felony child abuse.
6 of 13Javier Soriano/Getty Images
Maybe some time in the next few months, we'll learn that Landis' drug tests really were somehow mishandled, or misread, or something like that. But for now, Landis, the 2006 Tour de France winner, looks like just the latest in a long, tired line of dopers who uses everything in his power to try to get an edge.
7 of 13Thomas E. Witte/SI
Everybody knows that baseball finally has a drug policy with some teeth. And everybody in baseball knows that the feds want a bite of the game, too. But Grimsley, a former pitcher for several big league teams, still was messing around with human growth hormone and amphetamines? And getting them sent to his house? Some guys are just asking to get caught.
8 of 13David Cannon/Getty Images
U.S. Ryder Cup Team
The Euros wiped out the coddled Americans -- again -- in a September snoozer in Ireland. Afterward, Tiger Woods complained that the Cup format didn't fit the Americans' strength. So for the next Cup, the Euros will all be forced to act like they don't care and a new rule will pit Tiger against the entire continent. That should even things up.
9 of 13Jamie Squire/Getty Images
We don't know for sure whether that was pine tar on Rogers' hand during those postseason wins. But what's worse than that -- and more damning -- is that the Tigers' lefty didn't pitch again after TV cameras finally caught him all gobbed up. And he seemingly didn't want to pitch. He can stick to his story. We're sticking to ours: He cheated.
10 of 13Bill Frakes/SI
A new team, a bad hamstring, a broken finger, an overdose of painkillers, a spate of dropped balls -- it's always something with Owens, last year's winner of the Turkey of the Year award. It's not that he's necessarily a bad guy. It's just that we've OD'd on T.O. already. Or maybe he just needs a new publicist.
11 of 13AP
What could Cullen, the Lions' first-year defensive line coach, possibly have been thinking when he pulled a naked bootleg -- that's code, folks -- through a fast-food restaurant's drive-thru window in August? Whatever it was, we've determined that the coach did not, as previously reported, ask the poor worker at the window to hold the pickle.
12 of 13AP
How stupid can one big ol' defensive lineman be? Doesn't Haynesworth, the Titans' cleats-for-brains tackle, realize that they have cameras at NFL games? And refs who watch for dopes like him? Still, in an October game against Dallas, Haynesworth stomped on the face of Andre Gurode, forcing the NFL to mete out a five-game suspension, the longest ever for an on-field transgression.
13 of 13John Macdougall/Getty Images
France's Zidane lost his cool -- and, maybe, a lot more than that -- with the Head Butt Heard 'Round the World. In July's World Cup final, Zidane went hopelessly headstrong into Italy's Marco Materazzi, a mindless foul that earned Zidane an ejection in Italy's win and SI.com's ninth annual Turkey of the Year award.
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