Ladies and gentlemen, this here is your one-stop shop for all of the latest news on Footballing Christmas - also known as transfer deadline day.
Get involved. Tweet @_scottsaunders your thoughts on your club's business and you might see yourself show up here yourself, and also use the hashtag #90minLive. Brace yourselves...
10:05am: LEEDS DO A SIGNING!!
Leeds United have confirmed the signing of Pawel Cibicki from Swedish side Malmo FF. The 23-year-old has signed a four-year deal and will take the number 22 shirt.
He's also represented both Poland and Sweden at youth level. Ooh, edgy.
10:02am: THE OX IS A RED AND WAS A RED BEFORE BUT HE'S A RED AGAIN NOW
Pictures are emerging of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain in Liverpool training gear.
All that we're waiting for now is the official announcement...
09:57am: SWANSEA SEE OLIVEIRA BID REJECTED
Swansea look like they're going to be busy today, but BBC's Ian Dennis has confirmed they'll have to try again in their pursuit of Norwich's Nelson Oliveira - as a £12m bid has been turned down.
09:50am: CITY SET TO UP THEIR BID FOR SANCHEZ
Manchester City are set to up their offer for Arsenal's Alexis Sanchez to a probably-acceptable £70m. Arsenal have turned down offers for him recently, but City have got men on the ground in Chile and are just waiting for Arsenal to give them the green light.
The Sun report that a new bid is in the pipeline...
09:47am: FOR THE LOLS
Dwight Gayle just arrived at the Newcastle training ground & realising he was 4 hours early did a U-turn and left. Afternoon training today!— Keith Downie (@SkySports_Keith) August 31, 2017
09:41am BOURNEMOUTH HAVE WAY TOO MUCH MONEY, LADS
09:35am: RENAT-GO...ING TO SWANSEA
We're a little late to this one, but it's worth a reminder that Swansea City are set to pull off possibly the greatest deal in the history of football today - by signing Bayern Munich's Renato Sanches on loan.
Bayern's CEO has confirmed the deal is going to happen, so we await confirmation...
Shout out Tom Power for the dad pun.
09:31am: DONE DEAL!
On a similar note, Matty Willock has left Manchester United - but it's a loan deal to the Netherlands for him.
Utrecht is lovely, tbf.
**UPDATE: Alex Hammond just called the kid Matty Wilcock. Get out of here while you can, mate.
09:23am: DONE DEAL!
The first one of the day is done, and it's an exciting one.
You don't care about this, do you?
09:14am: PALACE SWITCH DEFENSIVE TARGETS
Crystal Palace have switched transfer targets after seeing another bid for Liverpool's Mamadou Sakho rejected, and have made a huge offer for Man City's Eliaquim Mangala.
The Sun's Charlie Wyett states it's a bid worth £23m, though the player is not believed to be keen on the move himself. Instead, he wants to join Inter.
09:10am: DON'T CARE DEAL OF THE DAY #1
Papy Djilobodji is leaving England for Dijon. Thanks for coming.
09:05am: LIVERPOOL SET TO OFFLOAD ORIGI ON LOAN
Liverpool are set to let forward Divock Origi leave the club for a season on loan, with Wolfsburg prepared to pay £6m for the privilege.
Given all the business Liverpool are expected to do today, it's probably a wise move...
Liverpool loan fee for Origi is £6m plus wages. Wolfsburg prepared to pay.— paul joyce (@_pauljoyce) August 30, 2017
09:02am: ANOTHER PLAYER CHELSEA AREN'T SIGNING THIS SUMMER IS...
Rafinha. They were never getting him anyway, let's be real.
09:01am: EVERTON REJECT LOAN OFFER FOR MIRALLAS FROM WEST HAM
West Ham are probably going to be busy today. Kevin Mirallas has been a little unsettled of late, and the Hammers - who are probably in a worse place than Arsenal at the moment - have looked to take advantage...but to no avail.
09:00am: MAHREZ IS PROBS LEAVING LEICESTER AT SOME POINT TODAY PPL
One of the biggest stories of the day is set to involve Riyad Mahrez, who has been allowed to leave the Algerian national team camp to "complete a transfer".
He will not be moving to Arsenal though, as BBC journo David Ornstein has confirmed on Twitter. Man Utd, Barcelona, Tottenham, Roma and AS Monaco are all possible destinations, even while Leicester have yet to receive any new bids.
08:55am: YOU KNOW IT'S DEADLINE DAY WHEN....
Nothing quite like a bit of Harry Redknapp hanging out of a window in the morning and some Nico Gaitan crap-news to make us realise that Deadline Day is actually here, is there?
All of this before bloody 9am.
Nico Gaitan has told his agent to listen to late offers.— Sport Witness (@Sport_Witness) August 31, 2017
Now it's deadline day.
Football Christmas has arrived, people. It's transfer deadline day, and this one holds massive promise that it'll be the best one we've ever experienced - except for fans of Arsenal Football Club - with a host of massive deals expected to be rubber stamped.
Me, @_scottsaunders, will ably guide you through the day with all of the latest rumours, confirmed deals, and actual lols as they happen throughout the first part of the day. Get involved on Twitter by tweeting your thoughts and you might see yourself show up here yourself, using the hashtag #90minLive.
Let the faecal matter hit the oscillating wind generator...