By 90Min
December 29, 2017

Forget the Premier League! There's only one genuine sporting competition worth talking about in Manchester, and it's the hotly contested battle for supremacy at All Star Lanes. 

For a long time, the VIP bowling alley has been the true battleground for footballers in Manchester, with rivalries fiercer than any seen on the football pitch.

So while Manchester City continue their tedious procession to the comparitively meaningless league title, players have been forced to turn their attentions to the prestigious bowling outlet to exact their revenge.

Bowling time 🎳 #familytime#manchetser#citylife#bowlingday#bowlingfun#allstarlanes

A post shared by C a m i l l e (@camille_schneiderlin) on

And that's exactly what the former United midfielder Morgan Schneiderlin did on Thursday night, propelling himself to an impressive second place on the illustrious leaderboard, but falling just short in his efforts to topple the current champion, Micah "Kingpin" Richards. 

In even more shocking news, the announcement of his accomplishments on social media revealed the table in its entirety, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic inconceivably ranked lower than Coleen Rooney.

The self-proclaimed 'lion' Zlatan is currently languishing in fifth last, boasting a meager 108 points in comparison to Coleen's admirable 113, and Richards' staggering 197. 

Further revelations uncover Kevin De Bruyne's implausible ability to be average at something, remarkably only the 10th name on the hallowed list, at last offering Jose Mourinho a morsel of vindication.

Without further ado, here is the list in full:

1 Micah Richards  197
2 Morgan Schneiderlin 189
3
Ederson / Ashley Young 185*
4 Luke Shaw
176
5 Alan Halsall / Jesse Lingard
174*
6 Tom Cleverley / Marcus Rashford 170*
7 Kevin De Bruyne
160
8 Wayne Rooney
159
9 Danny Welbeck / Joe Hart
148*
10
Joe Thomas
144
11
Michael Buble
143
12 Fernandinho / Anthony Martial
136*
13 Gareth Gates / Jack Whitehall
132*
14 John Thomson / Gary Neville
121*
15 Tom Ogden
115
16 Juan Mata / Jorgie Porter
114
17 Coleen Rooney
113
18 Mario Balotelli
110
19 Zlatan Ibrahimovic
108
20 Paddy Mcguiness
106
21 Rihanna
82
22 Drake  78
23 Lady Gaga
69

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