Over the years, Sergio Ramos has built up a formidable reputation as an absolute hard man on the football field. Just ask Liverpool's Mohamed Salah, whose Champions League Final appearance was mercilessly cut short by a truly monstrous challenge from the Real Madrid captain.
How does such a brutish character fill his hours off the field, you ask? Perhaps by driving past an old people's home in the dead of night while slamming the horn? Or cow tipping in the lush hills of the Cuenca Alta Manzanares Regional Park?
Maybe by visiting local schools to inform children of the 'real deal' with Santa Claus? Or sniping other peoples' eBay bids for the sheer fun of it, before backing out of the transaction mere moments later?
All wrong (we must hope): Instead, he goes on national television to reveal he has a statue of Michael Jackson casually standing in his bathroom.
Yes, while appearing on Spanish chat show El Hormiguero, it was confirmed that the 32-year-old - who we already knew has a Michael Jackson tattoo - love of the King of Pop stretches further than previously thought.
In conversation with Ramos, host Pablo Motos revealed: "When you're going to pee in your house, at the exit you have a life-size sculpture of Michael Jackson."
Well, there's an exotic loo roll holder if I ever there was one.
"Well, there is no better way to invest than doing it in art, culture and creation," Ramos jokingly replied to the revelation.
The former Sevilla star went on to explain that the statue was a surprise gift for his fiancé, Pilar Rubio Fernández, who happens to be a contributor on the popular Spanish chat show.
And this was just the tip of the iceberg, in an extraordinary performance that saw the 2010 World Cup winner have an absolute whale of a time. He opened the show by dancing to MJs most iconic tunes, wigged-out on the guitar, and completed a series of challenges ranging from throwing axes to playing pool trick shots. Oh and he also spoke a bit about football.
Yes, this all genuinely happened - it wasn't a fever dream, I swear.
The main purpose of Ramos' appearance was to promote a documentary series on Amazon Prime, which will be a behind-the-scenes look at the player's (clearly absolutely bonkers) life off the playing field.
I'm sure we can agree, that is his recent television appearance is anything to go by, it will be an unmissable treat, and may change some long-held perceptions of the man's character. Having said that, in the eye of all Liverpool fans, he'll always be nothing more than a Smooth Criminal.