By 90Min
May 15, 2019

Antoine Griezmann is leaving Atletico Madrid, to go to...somewhere? 

We got an unmarked envelope at 90min Towers on Wednesday morning which appears to contain his innermost thoughts from the last 12 months. Since The Decision

We take no pleasure in revealing the envelope's contents. But the people deserve to know. 


14th June 2018

FRANCK FIFE/GettyImages

Did The Decision today. Needed something to take my mind off playing with these snail-munchers instead of my pals at the World Cup for the next month – really think FIFA need to have another look at their rules. 

Ousmane and that Umtiti lad keep giving me funny looks around the camp though. Can't tell if it's because I just made an entire documentary to par off their club or if they didn't think my apology for the Globetrotters thing was enough. Guess I'll never know. Refuse to speak French. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.


15th July 2018

Won the World Cup today. The frog-gobblers are all loving it, but I just feel empty. It is not the time for posts. I told Juan Mata that. He scribbled it in a notebook. Odd lad. I like his name though, it reminds me of mate, which I bloody love, of course. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.


6th August 2018

OSCAR DEL POZO/GettyImages

Back with my mate mates today, it's been such a long summer. I love drinking small amounts of bitter leaf juice with my Uruguayan kin, it's the only reason made The Decision to stay here in the summer. Luis Suarez...he doesn't appreciate me in the same way that they do. 

"He's not Uruguayan, he's French and he scored a goal. He doesn't know what we have to do to succeed in football. He will have his customs and his Uruguayan way of speaking, but we feel differently."

Dickhead. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.


19th November 2018

Wow, long time no speak! Had to play against the homeland again today, and it was really hard. I put a Uruguayan flag on my boots, but people just laughed at me. Diego and Jose weren't even in their squad, I just felt so alone. Sometimes I think they don't even believe I'm really one of them. 

FRANCK FIFE/GettyImages

Had a chat with Luis after the game though. Cleared the air a bit, turns out we have a lot in common – he says he was called racist for doing something that's accepted in our culture too! Lots to think about. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.


28th January 2019

This season is going great! Through in the Champions League, second in the league and not far behind Barça! I've scored eight in eight! I'm getting a little bit worried that Diego (the good one, not the feral one) hasn't signed his new contract yet though. I'm going to start leaving pens in his kitbag so he's always ready, I think. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.


3rd February 2019

Spoke too soon. Lost to Betis. Will go home and genuflect to my single lock of Diego Forlan's hair. 


9th February 2019

Lost to Real. Need to step it up. Time to put on my signed and match-worn Álvaro Recoba pants until we win again. 

Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/GettyImages

20th February 2019

Okay, calma. Jose and Diego (the two Gs, or 'my Gs') scored against Juve, we're going to boss the Champions League, I'm feeling a lot better about this now. 

Suarez keeps texting me to complain about Philippe Coutinho lately – 'Ohhh he takes loads of stupid shots so we don't give him the ball now, and then he runs into the middle and gets in my and Leo's way' – but I told him exactly what I tell people about Filipe. You can't trust people from a country who speak Portuguese when everyone around them speaks Spanish! 

He said I've given him a lot to think about, but I'm not sure he was convinced. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.


12th March 2019

Ronaldo knocked us out AGAIN? Screw this stupid club. 


27th March 2019

Lucas signed for Bayern today. Absolutely no flair – he let them announce it themselves with some written statement on their website. I bet he doesn't even have a documentary filmmaker's phone number. 

He had made things a bit awkward for me now though. He's off, Juanfran's off, Diego's stopped speaking to me (again, the good one, not the one who only eats raw meat and---wait, that's both of them. I mean not the one who looks like his face was carved out of the side of Cerro Catedral----that's both of them too. The one who doesn't flinch at Antonio Conte's name! That's the one) and he's always with Jose, so I can't talk to him either. 

I'm starting to feel a little bit alone here. I'm spending most of my time in my room videoing new celebrations to send to my new pal Luis. He says he's really worried about the chance of playing Liverpool in the Champions League because Coutinho is – and I quote – 'about as constitutionally strong as a wet sheet of tissue'. I'm sure they'll be fine. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.


6th April 2019

Fake Spaniard got sent off against Barça today. Hate this place. 

Can't even summon the energy to ring the Uruguay citizenship office. I'll give them a buzz next week. 


14th May 2019

Alright. It's time. Diego's abandoning me, Luis is begging me to come and replace 'that tiny idiot waste of air', Juanfran's gone, Lucas has gone, I've had it. I'm done. I haven't showered in five days and my hair looks like I just came off the island off Castaway (love Tom Hanks), but I can't take it any more.

Apparently everyone's 'at Cannes' and 'too busy'. France ruins everything again. Get my tripod. 

I've made my Decision. 

p.s. Still waiting to hear from Uruguay citizenship office. Will chase again tomorrow.

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HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)