Summer is upon us with transfer rumours aplenty.
While most top European sides aim to pluck a gem out of obscurity or sign a world-beater with his best years ahead of him, Inter tend to head down a different route.
A club steeped in rich history and arguably at their peak one of the finest sides in European football, they're famed for some rather questionable acquisitions in recent years.
Much like children who only want what their siblings have because they themselves don't have it, there is a tendency to over assert themselves in the market and go gung-ho to scoop a player up who nobody really wants.
Expect such deals to fly in this summer. Because, not matter who is at the helm, eyebrows will be raised from Milan to Manchester.
Utter rubbish for two seasons but in with the slightest chance he could recapture the form of previous years abroad? Count Inter in.
Whoever you support in whatever league you watch, take comfort knowing you don't have a player on your books who could go down as a worse signing than Alexis Sanchez. What makes this an enticing opportunity for Inter is that he was good two seasons ago, therefore must still be good now, right?
Well, no. Anyone in their right mind wouldn't go near Sanchez with a rusty bargepole at this point, given his astronomical wage packet and the simple fact that he's a shadow of his former Arsenal self (that being an insult to shadows). Thus, it is tailor-made for the Nerazzurri to swoop in and offer United a two-year loan deal for the 30-year-old ageing dog whisperer.
Deemed one of the nicest men in football (I haven't met him but that's the general consensus), the Spaniard does honest and enlightening weekly blog entries and helped launch the Common Goal charity for crying out loud. What a dude.
Personality traits aside, Mata is calling time on is United career, and probably the Premier League, this summer at the age of 31. Naturally gifted, there's no questioning his talent, so should really have a few suitors willing to dress him up in their clubs' kits.
It goes without saying though that it probably won't be one of Europe's elite. However, as aforementioned, Inter will be scared that happens and their inner FOMO will force their hand towards offering him a sumptuous wage packet on a five-year deal. With no previous experience of Serie A, he really fits the bill for a San Siro switch.
Jerome & Kevin-Prince Boateng
Somewhere in the upper echelons of San Siro is probably a set of Inter officials hoping that there is a potential BOGOF deal looming here. Brothers must surely come as a two-for-one deal, right? Or similarly there could very well be a monumental cock-up in the recruitment process and the wrong one turns up.
Either way, Kevin-Prince knows the area well, having turned out for Milan during an initial four-year spell (which doesn't seem to matter anymore) so the 32-year-old would slot right in. I mean, he's on loan at Barcelona, so he must be good.
His younger brother still has unquestionable talent, despite being frozen out of the German national setup, and his vast experience of earning hefty sums of money will put him in good stead as his career fades out in Italy.
Wanted by other clubs, not a regular starter in his side's first XI, knocking on 31-years-old. Check, Check, Check.
Inter have the chequebook already prepped for a two-year loan deal with 300 add-ons and additional performance-related fees. All of this isn't to say Willian is by any means a bad player though, far from it, yet his current situation at Chelsea screams 'Inter' more than a 32-year-old Felipe Melo circa 2015.
"Remember that time he ripped us a new one in the Champions League and ended Maicon's career? Let's get him!"
Every club in Europe (barring Real Madrid & Barcelona) would chew your hand off to have a player of Gareth Bale's quality on their books. The thing is, nobody can actually afford him. With three years left on his Los Blancos deal, the financial muscle needed to take him of Zinedine Zidane's hands would be astronomical.
However, there is always the opportunity of paying his £350k-a-week wages over the course of a two-year loan deal that effectively bankrupts the club because, heck, why not?
There is something in the water in the blue half of Milan that makes people believe they can reignite careers. In the case of Coutinho, Inter threatened to hamper his before it ever got started. Very much a bench warmer during his time at San Siro, Liverpool swooped in and unearthed an attacking gem that earned them a substantial amount of money.
Currently being lambasted by Blaugrana fans and Spanish press alike, it appears his days are dwindling in Catalonia. It is set up for a fairytale (and extremely expensive) two-year loan deal back to Italy, in which case Inter can claim he was merely a baby bird stretching his wings before coming home to nest.