Another day, another deluge of amazingly moreish transfer rumours. It really is something, isn't it, this period of unstoppable speculation, of untethered hope.
Could your team land an 18-year-old starlet from Brazil who's played one professional game but is clearly the second coming of Socrates? Of course!
Hell, you might even find out they have right here. So go on, get reading.
Real Madrid Look to Loan Out Ceballos as Spurs & Arsenal Circle
Real Madrid will not sell Dani Ceballos this summer because, contrary to their treatment of him since that €16.5m move from Real Betis in 2017, they do actually rate him as a player, apparently.
But keep him on the books next season? Nah. According to COPE, Los Blancos would more than happily loan the midfielder out for the 2019/20 season, with north London rivals Tottenham and Arsenal set to fight out it for the Spanish Under-21 international.
Southampton Eye £15m-Rated David Okereke as Che Adams Alternative
As frustrations continue to boil over the failed pursuit of Birmingham's Che Adams, Southampton's number one target this window, the club have set their eyes on Spezia striker David Okereke as a potential alternative.
As per the Sun, Ralph Hasenhuttl's side are tracking the 'Spezial talent' (their words, not ours) with the view to a £15m move. Okereke, who was recently called up to the Nigerian senior side, but failed to make the cut for this summer's AFCON, is also being chased by Wolves, Newcastle, Crystal Palace and Inter - why always them? - but as it stands the Saints are in pole position.
Man City Seeking to Hijack Watford's Move for Brazilian Starlet Joao Pedro
Remember what I said in the intro?!?!? Well, Watford have already agreed a deal for this particular Brazilian wonderkid, but if you think that's stopped the monolithic men from Manchester City attempt to commandeer the transfer, you'd be sadly mistaken.
That's right, since last October, the Hornets have had a £2m deal in place for Pedro to join them at Vicarage Road in January 2020 - when he turns 18 - but since then the teenager has risen another level, and the new Fluminense president feels like they can get a bit more buck for their bang.
As per the Daily Star, it is understood there is a clause which allows other clubs to hijack the deal by handing Watford £17.6m in compensation, a fee the Citizens are all-too-willing to dole out. The thing is, it's been Pedro's dream since a wee boy to join Watford - well, at least since Richarlison showed it was a great place to earn a £50m move to somewhere higher up the food chain - and he'd prefer to play first-team football than get embroiled in the City loan programme.
Much ado about nothing then, basically.
Bruno Fernandes Prefers Man Utd to Spurs Because...They're Worse?
Finally, a genuine star that Manchester United are chasing who actually wants to sign for them! Yes, according to Portuguese publication A Bola, as relayed by the Sun, United have come out ahead of Tottenham in the race for Sporting CP midfielder Bruno Fernandes, after the player described the Red Devils as "sportingly more attractive" thanks to their lack of midfield options.
Which, if I'm not mistaken, is also know as a neg. But hey, at least he actually wants to come!!! With this great, great news, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has apparently asked Ed Woodward to 'speed up' the process in order to land the wonderfully effusive man.
As for Spurs, they'll likely have to settle for Tanguy Ndombele, who prefers his clubs jam-packed with positional competitors, the freak.
Real Madrid Offer Valencia Lucas Vazquez & Sergio Reguilon on Loan
Which seems enticing, until you consider the high wages that they garner - particularly Vazquez, who has been a starter at the Bernabeu for some time - and the apparent minute requirements that would be placed in their contracts.
Which, along with the fact that it's not completely clear whether they need either, is what Valencia have been considering, making any such move unlikely. You've gotta love it.
Rangers Launch Third Bid for Martin Skrtel as Talks Begin
It does not get better than this, and I challenge you to find any evidence that supports otherwise. That's right, Steven Gerrard's Rangers finally look set to land long-term target Martin Skrtel, after the Slovakian's £60k-a-week contract ran down at Fenerbahce.
Gerrard has tried both last summer and this January to sign his Slovakian pal, but both times price tag and salary demands proved too costly. But now, with the defender in no position to make such outlandish requests, a deal could finally be brokered.
According to the Daily Record, Skrtel is set for talks in Scotland this week, with a source claiming: “There have been some new conversations and we will see in the next few days if this deal can happen.” Better get the clipper out again, Martin. You're off to Glasgow.
Spurs Retain Interest in Sessegnon Bros & Max Aarons
Despite the imminent £11.5m arrival of Leeds United winger Jack Clarke, Tottenham still retain interest in both Sessegnon brothers, as well as 19-year-old Norwich full back Max Aarons.
According to the Guardian, Ryan Sessegnon would cost the Lilywhites around £25m, and is the principal target of the three, with Steven and Aarons competing for the right back spot. Both those moves would depend on the sale of Kieran Trippier, though, with both Napoli and Juventus, quite unbelievably, batting their eyelashes at the England international.
Juventus Closing in on Leicester POTY Ricardo Pereira
It's not just Harry Maguire who could be swapping Leicester for the big time this summer - Player of the Year full-back Ricardo Pereira could be doing exactly the same.
According to the Sun, Juventus have set their eyes on Pereira as the perfect replacement for Joao Cancelo at the back, should Pep Guardiola poach him for Man City, and the player is highly keen on the move, seeing it as the perfect way to cement his place in the Portugal side for Euro 2020.
This is mainly because he would be playing alongside the country's best player, Cristiano Ronaldo. Clever, eh?
Leeds Set to Re-Loan Jack Harrison from Man City
Leeds have entered into talks with Manchester City over once again loaning midfielder Jack Harrison for the 2019/20 season.
According to BBC Sport, Marcelo Bielsa and co. are hoping to complete a deal before the team's upcoming pre-season tour of Australia, which begins with a clash against Manchester United on July 17th, providing the perfect incentive for the Citizens to comply.