By 90Min
September 26, 2019

We all love a shock in football. Whether that is a club securing an out-of-the-blue deadline day signing or an FA Cup upset, its what endears us all to the sport.

Similarly, we sometimes get treated to managerial appointments that baffle us beyond belief, take us all by surprise, or have us questioning whether those in the boardroom actually have the brains capable of running a football club.

Well, let us all live in a fairytale for just one moment. Let us all write our own narrative where a certain Arsene Wenger returned to Premier League football to take charge of one of his bitterest rivals. Close your eyes, just for a moment, and picture a scene where the Frenchman walks onto the Old Trafford turf to a chorus of cheers, not boos. Sounds delightful, doesn't it?

Given the rather miserable state of affairs at Manchester United at present, here's eight reasons why it would be just perfect to see the former Arsenal chief stun the world and take charge of the biggest club in the world – even if the quotes where he called it a 'dream job' were, erm, fake. Let us imagine...


There Wouldn't Be Any Confusion Over Where to Stand

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You remember it, everyone does. It is one of the Premier League's most iconic moments.

Seeing his side losing 2-1 to United at Old Trafford back in 2009, the Frenchman was sent to the stands by Mike Dean for kicking a water bottle in the technical area after Robin van Persie's late equaliser was ruled out for offside.

After being handed his marching orders, confusion struck the 69-year-old in the most unequivocally French way possible, with his arms aloft, shrugging in disbelief as he wandered around the stands looking for where to go. Tirades of abuse and jeering were directed towards Wenger as he plodded around aimlessly, yet, such worries wouldn't arise if it was his stadium...


He Could Avoid Repeated Wardrobe Malfunctions 

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For all his tactical nouse on the pitch, mastering his craft and meticulously fine-tuning the minor details in football, Wenger never managed to do the simple things well.

Things like zipping his coat up.

Well, with Sir Alex Ferguson's legacy still part of the furniture at Old Trafford, maybe one of his trademark trench coats is too. Opting for the button approach, this iconic attire would go down a treat with Wenger, who so often cut a bemused figure on the touchline as he desperately aimed to defy physics and force his hand through a hundred metal teeth.


The Players Wouldn't Be On the Receiving End of Criticism

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As was evident with Jose Mourinho's tenure in the north-west, if the players didn't perform, them and everyone else would most certainly know about it.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer doesn't work in the same way, his softer style on management is far less abrasive than his predecessor, but Wenger was always heralded for taking the blame away from his stars in a noble effort to protect them from the media. 

With criticism rife at present, Paul Pogba going missing for 85 minutes wouldn't be the midfielder's fault, there would be another Frenchman to blame. A man with skin so thick, if anyone can shoulder Pogba's never-ending flak, its him.


Man Utd's Torrid Recent Form Would Go Unnoticed

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"Arsene, what do you have to say in defence of the dreadful run of form your side are in?"

"I didn't see it."


He Might Actually Win a Match at Old Trafford

Arsene Wenger

Arsenal vs Manchester United during the late 1990s and early 2000s was England’s equivalent to El Clasico. However, when the fixture came to Old Trafford, it more often than not favoured the home side.

The Gunners famously clinched the Premier League title at Old Trafford in 2002 but overall, a win percentage of around 26% hardly made for great reading when the north London side came to town.

Donning a different shade of red, he could quite possibly actually win a match at the historic stadium, and who wouldn't love to see Wenger kicking a water bottle with unbridled joy as opposed to in anger?


Appoint Eric Cantona as His Number 2

VALERY HACHE/GettyImages

Yeah, OK, its a French thing. But, what United fan wouldn't be over the moon to see a former great sitting in the dugout? Wenger always had his favourites by his side, but what is to say he couldn't sway the bonkers Frenchman to assist him in his bid to bring glory back to the club?

They could even do their press conferences together. The older of the two deflecting blame of his players while his assistant manager blurbs out some bizarre philosophical speech about how United are a tadpole waiting to evolve into a butterfly so they can spread their fairydust over Greater Manchester.

You'd love to see it.


He Would Solve the Recent Penalty Debate

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Who is the designated penalty taker at United? Is it Pogba? Is it Marcus Rashford?


It appears to be the latter. However...remember the Robert Pires/Thierry Henry double-taker effort? Le Coq-up Sportif? 

Why argue over who takes it when you both can?


The Old Trafford Bank Balance Would Get a Rest

Michael Regan/GettyImages

This one is actually fairly serious. Sorry.


With £950m being spent on players since Fergie left his post, United have tried and failed miserably to recruit the stars necessary to catapult them back into Premier League contention. Fielding a very young side at present in light of those failures, with the track record he has, no manager would be better suited to getting the United kids up to speed.

As he has previously stated, 'we do not buy superstars, we make them', news that would be music to the ears of the United board who splashed out another £150m this summer. Furthermore, Wenger has also stated in the past that 'English players are as easy to coach', something Solskjaer didn't had much luck with during his ill-fated spell at Cardiff - or his current one with United.

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