One touch to set himself. One toe-poke to retire a man. Another touch to survey the scene. A defence-splitting pass to end all Ballon d'Or discussion in 2019.
This is Martin Odegaard's story.
The name's familiar, isn't it? That Norwegian prodigy who joined Real Madrid at 15, with the pretence of becoming the world's best 15 months later? Well, his progress was slightly more measured than once thought.
Instead of long-range stunners at Santiago Bernabeu, loan spells at Heerenveen and Vitesse Arnhem - where youngsters, mainly from the west London area, go to reinvent themselves and are never seen again (Mason Mount notwithstanding) - were the order of the day.
But he did come back to Spain. And now he's at Real Sociedad. And now he's doing things that not even Florentino Perez could conjure up in his wildest of Galactico fever dreams.
Things like this...
By all means, take a second. Gather your thoughts. Reassess everything you thought you knew about football.
Ode-God can do that to a mere mortal.
Now, before we get to the truly magical, out of this world behaviour, let's first touch on the dignities of that first touch (lol). The seeking out of space in between the lines. The reception of the ball on the half-turn - that so treasured of body positions that only the best deploy to its fullest form.
That was outrageously good from Odegaard. Woof. What a player! Genuine case to argue he’s best in La Liga so far this season. Brilliant.— Sid Lowe (@sidlowe) September 26, 2019
And then the - yes, I'm going to say it, you know I'm going to say it, so let's just get it over with - Lionel Messi-esque lightning nutmeg, oh-so reminiscent of the great man's own feats in the build-up to that GOAT goal against Getafe all those years ago.
But whereas Lionel, the selfish b*stard that he is, only had eyes for goal that day - even from inside his own half - Martin Oh-My-Gaard has more grace to his game. Martin Odin-gaard doesn't need to score to go viral.
Odour-guard (24hr protection) just needs to deliver the straightest, greatest defence-splitting pass of this century - just look how it dissects no less than five players, leaving the goalkeeper in no-mans land and Mikel Oyarzabal with the easiest tap-in of his life - to grab the headlines.
To seal the social media engagement. To earn the goat emojis. To win the Ballon d'Or.