Tottenham midfielder Christian Eriksen has been forced to take to Twitter to rubbish rumours of teammate Jan Vertonghen's scandalous affair with his 'wife' that apparently sparked a dressing room bust-up involving Harry Kane.
For a start, Eriksen isn't actually married to his long-time girlfriend Sabrina Kvist Jensen, with whom he has a one-year-old child. But that's by the by for these rumour mongers, of course.
Confronted with these accusations on Twitter, Eriksen was forced to set the record straight, retweeting a story from content aggregator Casual Mind with the caption '#bullshit' alongside the sleeping emoji.
And Vertonghen himself was quick to double down on the falsity of these claims, retweeting Eriksen's own tweet with a caption of three 'weary face' emojis followed by a love heart directed at his Danish teammate - and not his 'wife'.
The 'report' in question that was collated by Casual Mind explains: "Jan Vertonghen caught sleeping with Christian Eriksen's wife. Harry Kane got involved, big dressing room bust up [sic]. Club refusing to offer Vertonghen a new contract. Eriksen was due to join Real Madrid but personal reasons stopped the deal.
"Half the players not talking to each other, Eriksen said he's not in a good place to play football. Pochettino unable to resolve the situation, likely to join Real Madrid in the summer and take Eriksen with him and possibly Kane."
This text was posted alongside pictures of Vertonghen with the black eye that naturally proved that these claims were true.
Of course, regardless of these lewd reports, all is not well in north London, with disharmony clear to see during Tuesday night's 7-2 bombarding by Bayern Munich in the Champions League group stage clash.