That's right, you lucky so-and-so's! Thanks to our wonderful and brainy friends at Opta, 90min is comin' at ya with some mind-blowing info that you can impress your pals with during a Sunday roast at your local.
Chelsea's fantastic display against Burnley keeps Frank Lampard's boys in the top four, and the young guns continue to blow down the house of every Premier League piggy that stands in their way.
The visitors had to huff and puff for only 20 minutes until they broke the deadlock, and forgotten man Christian Pulisic opened the scoring with his first goal for the Blues - and then went on to bag a superb hat-trick.
With the heat well-and-truly off Lampard from our American cousins for the time being, let's delve into some juicy stats and examine the fall-out after Saturday night's Burnley bashing.
Ain't No Stopping' Frank Now
Chelsea are on the move, and their trajectory is up the table. The Blues have won their last six away games in all competitions – only once in their history have they won more consecutively on the road (7 between February-April 1989).
Not only that, Lampard's lads have won their last four consecutive top-flight away games while scoring at least three goals each time for the first time in their history.
You can open with that one as your mates chew on a mouthful of a Yorkshire pudding.
Goals Galore on The Road
Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has always craved exciting, attacking football at Stamford Bridge, and well, he might have got more than he bargained for when appointing Frankie Lamps.
Chelsea have scored 16 goals in their five away league games this season – only Norwich (17 in 1993-94) and Manchester City (20 in 2011-12) have scored more in their first five on the road in a Premier League season.
However, only Watford (34) have conceded more Premier League away goals in 2019 than Chelsea (30).
Be careful your buddies don't choke on a carrot during this belter.
Burnley are pretty good at sticking it to other teams, and Turf Moor is considered one of the grimmest away days in the Premier League. Sean Dyche's men have their own kryptonite however, and that appears to be the Chelsea boys.
This was the fifth time Burnley’s have conceded 4+ goals in a Premier League home game, with SuperFrank's new team doing so on two of the last three occasions.
Throw in a quote from The Inbetweeners about how much you hate Burnley for some comedic effect.
No Pulisic, No Party
Plenty has been made of Pulisic's contributions thus far, but the former Borussia Dortmund man finally announced himself on the Premier League stage, and in some style too.
The American winger became Chelsea’s youngest hat-trick scorer in Premier League history (21y 38d), while he also became the first player to net a ‘perfect’ league hat-trick for the Blues since Didier Drogba against Wigan in May 2010.
Ask your pals to name some other perfect hat-trick scorers. You're gonna be the king of the pub.
American Top Trumps
We've had some great imports from our neighbours across the pond, the likes of Clint Dempsey, Brad Friedel and err, Landon Donovan lighting up the English top flight for years. We also had Jozy Altidore.
But Pulisic looks destined to fall into the first category, and the tricky winger became just the second American player to score a Premier League hat-trick, after Dempsey himself in January 2012.
Make sure to mention Jozy Altidore to get a few laughs.
While Dempsey starred for fellow London clubs Fulham and Tottenham Hotspur, Pulisic became the first player from the USA to score for Chelsea in the Premier League, meaning the Blues have now had players from 36 different nations score for them in the competition (excluding own goals).
Bonus points for anyone who can name all 36 nations. That'll get the whole room buzzing.
I imagine Willian has probably avoided Twitter for a wee while, as the social media platform has been a cesspit of hate and loathing for the Brazil international in recent years. But Lampard has breathed new life into a whole host of stuttering Stamford Bridge careers since his arrival - and no one more so than our Willian.
The 31-year-old has turned his fortunes around, scoring three goals in his last six appearances for Chelsea in all competitions, as many as he had in his previous 30 for the Blues.
This would be a great mid-dessert sweetener.
Although the evening belonged to the Pied Piper Lampard and his boys, spare a thought for Dwight McNeil, whose consolation goal will be forgotten in amongst the high-pitched screaming of American fanboys declaring Pulisic as the new Lionel Messi.
McNeil became the first teenager to score a Premier League goal against Chelsea since Marcus Rashford in April 2017.
Maybe save this one for when your day-out is winding up.