Understandably—what with those blasted Phillies flapping all around him—Giant Manager Alvin Dark sometimes loses his temper, and last week in the middle of a game with them he irritably booted a batter's helmet onto the lap of a fan named Mrs. Barbara Dewaine. The chagrined manager asked to have it returned. "No," said Barbara, "it's just like a baseball. I caught it, and it's mine." "Well," replied Dark lightly, "I'll trade you a baseball for it." Mrs. Dewaine said O.K., "but only if you autograph it." "Done and done," said Alvin in essence, and the Giants' skulls, if not their standing, were secure once more.

While her mother stood by as a mere spectator in polka-dot babushka and shift (below), 6-year-old Caroline Kennedy donned the formal hard hat and jodhpurs of the well-dressed horsewoman and rode her pony Macaroni to a sixth-place ribbon in a 4-H Club horse show in West Barnstable, Mass. Her cousin Kathleen, daughter of Ethel and Bobby, did even better, winning a second, three thirds and a fourth, but at 13 she had an advantage.

"Who is the ale man? Who can he be?" the Ballantine brewers ask TV fans practically every hour on the hour. And for the last month the answer they have provided gratis is Sailmaker and Yachtsman Colin Ratsey. Now, just as the viewers have got this lesson firmly fixed in their minds, the Ballantines have got themselves a new ale man: none other than onetime Diamond Sculls Champion Jack Kelly.

For once Muhammad Ali seems to have fallen in love with someone besides himself. She's an attractive 17-year-old Sudanese girl named Rechima whom he met on his recent trip to Africa. "She wears this wraparound dress and has a gem in her forehead," sighed heavyweight boxing's gift to Islam. "And she's beautiful just like me."

Russia's busiest athlete, Nikita Khrushchev, entertained some Indonesian guests by blasting them right off his skeet-shooting range in Moscow. After hitting six out of six pigeons, the Muscovite sharpshooter obligingly offered his gun to visiting Foreign Minister Subandrio. But the Indonesian leader hastily excused himself and designated his ambassador, Manai Sophiaan, to substitute for him. Alas, Ambassador Sophiaan was not able to hit a single clay pigeon.

After months of sniffing and sneezing, Babs Shoemaker, the beautiful wife of Jockey Willie, at last found out what was wrong: she is allergic to horses, be they winners or losers. "If I come back from working a horse in the morning and touch her she starts sneezing right away," sighed Willie, gazing gloomily into a future of marital quarantine. "But in the afternoon everything is usually O.K. just as long as I take a shower before leaving the jocks' room to go home." "I hope the pills I'm taking will counteract it," said Mrs. Shoe, wiping away an allergic tear.

Anxious to improve his game, President Tom L. Popejoy of the University of New Mexico asked a firm in Connecticut to send him by return mail C.O.D. a book on how to play golf. "Sorry," replied the book's publisher in effect, "but persons living outside the continental United States must pay in advance. No money, no book." President Popejoy sighed, picked up a pen instead of a putter and wrote back: "New Mexico has been part of this nation since 1848." Then, as an afterthought, he tucked some instructional material of his own into the envelope: a map of the U.S.

Along with such elderly sharpshooters as former Amateur Champion Chick Evans and World Senior Titlist George Haggarty, those two grown-up kids, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, were asked to represent the U.S. against aging golfers from 12 nations in the international seniors golf tournament next month in Colorado Springs. And why not? Though they still shoot golf in the low 80s, both boys are now securely into their 60s, when it comes to years.

In the families of Baltimore Manager Hank Bauer and Kansas City Football Coach Hank Stram it seems to be a question of who is setting whom an example. While Daddy Bauer's Orioles battled furiously to regain a lost lead in the American League and Daddy Stram's Chiefs tried to get in shape to win back the AFL title, Catcher Stu Stram, 6½, and Shortstop Hermie Bauer, 7, were pacing a Johnson County, Kans. YMCA ball team to its seventh victory in 10 starts in the Hot Stove League. Hermie Bauer also won the league's 1964 Hustle Award.

"My dad is a golf pro," wrote the mixed-up blonde, "and I've been playing since I was 6. I can cream all the fellows in our crowd, including my steady guy. Howie hates it when I beat him. What do you say?" No golfer but a girl who knows her way around most courses, the lovelorn's friend Ann Landers had an answer as useful on the links as it is on tennis courts, at bridge tables and on the horseshoe pitch. "Play doubles with your guy," she told the blonde, "and make him look good instead of beating his brains out."

For the past four years U.S. Olympic hopeful Ron Laird has been heeling and toeing his way toward Tokyo. Last week he got a little closer by finishing third in the 20,000-meter walk at the U.S.-U.S.S.R. meet in Los Angeles, but on the way home, still walking, he met a snag. Blithely crossing an L.A. street against a red light, Walker Laird was picked up by an All-America cop, summoned to court and slapped with a $12 fine.


Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)