A lot of people have wondered how an old man like Yogi Berra (below), subjected to the softening effects of a year's layoff and of a managerial term, could regain playing form so quickly. They need wonder no longer. Yogi, smarter than the average Berra, has been getting in condition by lifting 55-gallon drums of hexahydroxy alcohol. His chemically sophisticated elbow bending is for the benefit of Baird, a firm which feels that chemical producers' advertising too often falls into the "dull, unimaginative and repetitious rut" of talk about "quality, service and dependability." Speaking of quality, service and dependability, Berra has most recently been associated with Yankee losses in the World Series and with the Mets' fight for the cellar. It remains to be seen what he does to sales of C[Sub 6]H[Sub 14]O[Sub 6].

Raymond Guest, newly appointed Ambassador to Ireland, got a quick introduction to Irish protocol. Guest's ceremonial presentation of credentials to President Eamon de Valera was postponed two hours so that both ambassador and president could get to Punchestown in time for the first race of the National Hunt Festival.

According to General Manager Lou Mohs, Los Angeles Laker Coach Fred Schaus developed his own little tension-relieving device during the past season. Whenever his mind got too knotted up in Laker problems, Schaus would wander over to his window and mechanically water the flowers in a window box outside. The way the season turned out, Schaus did a lot of wandering and the flowers got a lot of water. It wasn't until the season was over that his wife told him he had been watering plastic flowers.

Suppose you're a White Sox fan settling down to watch some baseball. You flip on the television set. Click, buzz, hum. There he is—good ol' Senator Paul Douglas, voice of the Chicago White Sox, bringing you the ball game. What! You pound the controls. You resolve to give up drinking beer so early in the afternoon. But it really is Senator Douglas, who went out to see a game and wound up telecasting part of it. Sportscaster Douglas turned out to be a little less excitable than Jack Brick-house, but no less loyal. "We've got a man on second," pattered Douglas. "If Skowron gets a hit, we've got another run in." Only when banjo-hitting Don Buford blasted a home run over the center field canvas into the bullpen was Douglas given pause. "Well," he said, earning his way into the fraternity of sports announcers, "that woke up the relief pitchers."

While everyone in Kansas City and New York City was trying to guess the clandestine details of the trade that sent John Blanchard and Roland Sheldon to K.C. for Doc Edwards, Blanchard's friends in the Twin Cities were worrying about the phone number of his liquor store. When he purchased the store in a Minneapolis suburb several years ago, Blanchard requested a seven-digit number that spelled Y-A-N-K-E-E-S. That was convenient to dial and easy to remember, at least for Yankee lovers. So far nobody has conjured up a replacement. C-L-O-W-N-S is too short.

Tom O'Hara, holder of the world's best indoor time for the mile (3:56.4), appears to be thriving on a military regimen. "I gained 10 pounds in basic training, mostly in my chest," says O'Hara, previously no Atlas. "I guess that's because of all the push-ups they had me doing." Now up to 143 pounds, the red-headed miler has, however, only been able to run for distance once. That was also in basic training at Fort Leonard Wood, where he ran the mile in 4:47—in combat boots.

Japanese Ambassador Ryuji Takeuchi came to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon and Goldwater country. As an added attraction, he got in a round of golf with Robert Goldwater, No. 1 amateur in the Southwest. The Republican leader's brother won, but 5-foot 3-inch Takeuchi scored a face-making 78. "How's Barry's game?" Bob asked his new-found golfing crony, a fellow member of the Senator's at Burning Tree Country Club in Bethesda, Md. He was reassured to learn that the elder Goldwater had corrected the hook that had caused him so much trouble. "Now he is slicing," said the ambassador.

New Light Heavyweight Boxing Champion José Torres, who had previously restricted himself to challenging boxing champions of various weights, has accepted a new challenge. He is singing in the Xavier Cugat show at New York's Paramount Theatre.

Penny Drewery (below), daughter of London Property Magnate Edward Drewery, got 21 keys to 21 apartments for her 21st birthday. Every week she makes the rounds of those flats, collecting rent. To collect her coppers, Penny is learning judo. Not just to repulse thieves, she claims, but also to discourage "romantic pests." "I think the only way to get rid of men is to threaten them physically," says the seductive Miss Drewery.


Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)