"Even the sportswriters in New York can talk basketball. In
other cities the writers confuse the public, but in New York
they seem to know the game."
This is an article from the Dec. 25, 2000 issue
"Those Mormons are pretty nasty. You think they're all
religious, but they cuss, and they talk about your mother. Your
"Vancouver or Toronto. They used to give a standing ovation for
a made free throw. They thought it was a goal."
"No place is really scary anymore. The seats cost too much. The
people who sit near the bench--what are they going to do, hit
you with their Palm Pilot?"
S.F. GIANTS FANS
"They do their homework--they know your mom's name and your
"Those idiots in Kansas City don't know when to shut up. They
yell even when the Chiefs have the ball. That's how stupid they
"Green Bay fans are almost cultlike. There would be a mass
suicide if the Packers ever thought about moving."
"Mets fans win, hands down. When the jail under Shea Stadium is
filled two hours before a game--that's all you need to know."
"Cubs fans are loyal, no question. They keep showing up to watch
STRANGEST THING SENT IN BY A FAN
"An old lady, about 70, sent me a letter and her picture. She
didn't have any clothes on."
"Philadelphia. They're all nasty, wearing redheaded wigs. Guys
say that when you go to Philly, it's just a bad trip."
"The fact that Clippers fans are even there tells you how stupid
BEST RETORT BY A PLAYER
"You'd better check your wife, a ballplayer is missing."
"Anyone who pays that much for a ticket and leaves before the
game is over is not too bright."
"Oakland fans are rough, man, they take it personal. They don't
even watch the game. They sit there the whole time yelling at
the other team."
"I remember when they were terrible, but there'd still be 18,000
in the stands when they were down by 10 with two minutes to go."
"Yankees fans tell you things about your mom, and where to go
after the game--and it's not the Grand Hyatt."
"The 76ers put all the hooligans in the front row, and there are
lots of rich hooligans in Philly."
*"Robin Ficker [in D.C.] once nailed Oliver Miller. He yelled,
'You guys have no guts--except for you, Miller. You have two.'"
*"When I first came into the league, Ficker held up a sign that
said ASON. He said, 'Kidd, you got no J.'"
*"Hey, why don't you just turn around and throw it into the gap!"
--TO REDS PITCHER SCOTT WILLIAMSON
*"We were playing in Detroit, and we were down by 25 points with
three minutes left. The referee made a call, and our coach [Bill
Fitch] jumped in his face. From the stands, Leon the Barber
yelled, 'Sit down, Fitch, he ain't gonna kick you out. He's
gonna make you watch the rest of this game.'"
*"HEY, ELTON BRAND, YOU PLAY LIKE ELTON JOHN."
*"YOU COULD GIVE ASPIRIN A HEADACHE."
*"One Jets fan was yelling at our tight end all game, 'Hey,
number 89, you suck! Hey, number 89, you suck!' When he didn't
get any response, he yelled at our center, 'Hey, number 52,
doesn't number 89 suck?'"
*"Don't worry about not playing. I'll play you in PlayStation."
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MLB Yankees/Red Sox
Most Loyal Fans
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