The cold war between the National Hockey League and the World Hockey Association has escalated. The Chicago Cougars have pirated away Mike Hardy, driver of the Chicago Black Hawks' ice-scraping machine, The Zamboni.

What is rarer than a hole in one? Why, a golfer with the foresight to insure himself against one. Eddie Stapp of Vincentown, N.J. had taken out a $200 policy to cover the traditional free drinks for the house that he would have to buy in event of an ace. So what happened when Stapp strolled into the clubhouse at the Golden Pheasant Golf Club after scoring the first hole in one of his life? Right. Not a customer in the place. "The owner bought drinks for me, my two playing partners and the waitress and wouldn't let me spend a dime," Stapp says. Fortunately, Stapp and his wife can still collect the other policy benefit: a two-week, all-expenses-paid vacation. They are deciding between Hawaii and Acapulco. Stapp will renew the insurance.

After rain stopped play at Wimbledon, top-seeded Rumanian tennis tyrant Ilie Nastase turned vending tyro. Donning an ice-cream monger's outfit, Nastase snuck into the stands calling "choc ices" and sold three to unsuspecting schoolgirls before steward Michael Franklin spotted him and shouted, "Hey, you can't sell ice cream here, laddie." Nastase retreated grinning, but his delight melted when spectators suddenly recognized and mobbed him, screaming for autographs. He had to be smuggled away on the floor of an official car.

Playing in a golf tournament at Galveston, Houston Oiler Quarterback Dan Pastorini boasted about his good condition. "I've been getting up in the mornings and running on the beach," said Pastorini, a recent groom whose wife is comely actress June Wilkinson. "In fact, June and I ran this morning. I'm trying to get her in shape, too."

For those beauties who later develop a bowling-ball figure, Judi Ford, Miss America of 1969, is promoting a preventive—bowling-ball exercises. Miss Ford is rolling around the country as a representative of the National Bow ling Council, teaching women to use a bowling ball in a calisthenics program designed to "slim down those tough problem areas." It includes bowling-ball press-ups, kneel-backs, roll-backs, side to side rolls and, of course, no Parker House or cloverleaf rolls.

Ending a six-week recovery from two broken ribs, Bill Diddel, five times the Indiana State amateur golf champion, shot an 87 on the Woodland Country Club course that he designed. He apologized for the score to the 120 members and guests attending his birthday party that night. Somehow it didn't seem necessary. This was Diddel's 89th birthday. "He's the most amazing golfer I've ever seen," says Woodland pro Bill Heinlein, who used to caddie for Diddel, but not when Diddel won his first amateur title—in 1905. "Why, Bill shot a 74 when he was 86 at the Country Club of Naples in Florida, another course he designed. The 12 strokes under his age is supposed to be an alltime record. Last year he had 83 rounds under his age."

Shotputter Brian Oldfield, a big money-winner of the pro track tour, entered most of the noncash events in this year's Highland Games at Santa Monica, Calif.—everything from the 56-pound hammer throw to the bale-of-hay pitching contest. Oldfield and his team met some trouble in the six-man tug-of-war when the other side, unbeaten in 10 years, got disgusted and let go of the rope, plunging Oldfield into the spectators. In his best event, Oldfield put the shot 65'1", but he met his match in the caber, which calls for lifting a 16'4" wooden pole, balancing it on a shoulder, taking a short run and then flipping it end over end. The caber nearly fell on Oldfield.

After scoring 407 points in 65 National Football League games, Placekicker Garo Yepremian of the Miami Dolphins stood at attention for The Star-Spangled Banner in the Orange Bowl once again. Dressed in his National Guard uniform, the 29-year-old Yepremian, born on Cyprus of Armenian parents, took the naturalization oath along with 918 other new citizens in a special ceremony the evening of Independence Day. Afterward he recalled his sudden-death field goal that ended pro football's longest game on Christmas Day 1971, then said, "But this is the happiest day of my life."

George Altman, former Chicago Cub outfielder, is wary of Japanese communal baths. "I lost 18 pounds in my first season," says Altman, now playing for the Tokyo Lotte Orions, "mostly because I followed my teammates into the baths after games. Once I picked up a chill at practice and wanted to soak, so I went to a public bath in a hotel. There were supposed to be separate baths for men and women, but soon an elderly woman and her not-so-elderly daughter jumped in. I was really embarrassed. I didn't know what to do. So I just sat in the water for half an hour until they left. By then I was pretty well done."