Lee Trevino, on the rough at Royal Birkdale, site of the British Open: "At 15 we put down my bag to hunt for a ball. Found the ball, lost the bag."

Jim Valvano, North Carolina State basketball coach: "I don't like all those TV time-outs. I run out of things to say to my team."

John Madden, CBS sportscaster, during a preseason game between the Cowboys and the Oilers: "From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I've ever seen on a running back."

Mickey Rivers, Texas Ranger DH, complaining about weather conditions during a game: "Man, it was tough. The wind was blowing about 100 degrees."

Mickey Rivers, denying he'd have problems with owner George Steinbrenner or manager Billy Martin if, as rumored, he returned to the Yankees: "Me and George and Billy are two of a kind."

John Butcher of the Rangers after pitching a one-hitter: "I threw about 90 percent fastballs and sliders, 50 percent fastballs, 50 percent sliders...wait, I'm starting to sound like Mickey Rivers."

Jack Kelly Jr., U.S. Olympic Committee vice-president, about present-day amateurism: "Let's be honest. A proper definition of an amateur today is one who accepts cash, not checks."

Don Matthews, coach of the Canadian Football League's British Columbia Lions, asked whether his team would attempt any quick kicks in an upcoming game in Vancouver's domed stadium: "Only when we have the air conditioning at our backs."

The Rev. John Lo Schiavo, the president of the University of San Francisco, when asked if Queen Elizabeth had said anything to him when he attended a dinner for her in San Francisco: "Yes, she leaned over and whispered, 'When are you bringing back basketball?' "

Larry Holmes, IBF heavyweight champion, explaining why he continues to dwell in his hometown of Easton, Pa., instead of moving to a bigger city: "Here the Joneses try to keep up with the Holmeses."

William Perry, Clemson middle guard, on the two-year TV and postseason ban imposed on the Tigers by the NCAA: "What makes it hard is that we can't watch television for two years."

Frank Layden, general manager and coach of the then-hapless Jazz: "We formed a booster club in Utah, but by the end of the season it had turned into a terrorist group."

Pete Rose, shrugging off his sub-par performance in 1983: "All I know is that I've won every award there is to win in this game except comeback player of the year—which I'll get next year."

Ed Croke, New York Giants public relations man, on 295-pound defensive end Leonard Marshall: "We put him on a Cambridge diet, and he ate half of Cambridge."

Tex Cobb, whose beating at the hands of heavyweight champion Larry Holmes in 1982 prompted Howard Cosell to decide to stop announcing boxing: "I'd go 15 more rounds with Holmes if I thought it would get Cosell off football broadcasts."

Paul Owens, the Phillies' 59-year-old manager: "The toughest thing about managing is standing up for nine innings."

Stewart Granger, Cleveland Cavalier guard, recalling the rough basketball games on Brooklyn playgrounds: "The rule was 'No autopsy, no foul.' "

Doug Bogue, Kansas State quarterback, on why he changed his major from veterinary medicine to petroleum geology: "I didn't want any calls at 4 a.m. from people saying, 'Fifi is throwing up.' "

William E. Simon, president of the United States Olympic Committee, on the less than perfect housing conditions found at the Pan American Games: "The athletes aren't complaining. They're all pros."

Roger Erickson, Yankee pitcher, announcing his retirement after being demoted to Columbus with assurances that he was part of the parent team's future: "I don't want to be in your future. It's frustrating enough being in your present."

Gary Hogeboom, Dallas reserve quarterback, presenting starter Danny White at a banquet: "It's kind of hard to introduce a guy you hope gets the flu every Sunday."

Bob Horner, Braves third baseman, on why he is no longer wearing a beard: "I've been traveling so much I haven't had time to grow it."

Don Ott, then a member of the evangelical Athletes in Action basketball team, explaining his club's 29-point loss to UCLA after defeating Oral Roberts by 29 in its previous game: "You might say they did unto us as we did unto others."

George Rogers, New Orleans Saints running back, asked if he had established any goals for the 1983 season: "I want to gain 1,500 or 2,000 yards, whichever comes first."

Viktor Tikhonov, the coach of a touring Soviet hockey team, watching the cheerleaders perform at a Minnesota-Dallas football game: "Tell me. These women—are they wayward?"