THIS IS THE JOB DESCRIPTION: "Seasonal employment. Must crouch in the dirt, wearing heavy equipment, for long periods of time. Must be able to catch hardballs thrown at 90 mph in unpredictable fashion. Must sometimes then throw a ball 127'3‚Äö√Ñ√∂‚àö√±‚àö‚à´" on a dime within two seconds. Must deal constantly with temperamental personalities. Must occasionally field a thrown ball at home plate, then stand in the way of a 200-pound runner who seeks to collide with the force of a runaway train." And you wonder why there's a shortage of catchers?
TERRY McGRIFF OF CINCINNATI APPLIES THE TAG WITH A SPLIT SECOND TO SPARE...
...BUT UPON FURTHER INSPECTION DISCOVERS ONE SMALL PROBLEM: THERE'S NO BALL. SAFE
BASEBALL'S GEOMETRY BECOMES PLAIN WHEN CATCHER, RUNNER AND BALL INTERSECT AT THE PLATE. CLEVELAND'S ANDYALLANSON TAKES A WELL-PLACED FOREARM FROM OAKLAND'S GLENN HUBBARD...
...WHICH RESULTS IN A TANGLED TAKEDOWN FOR THE OFFENSE AND A DISLODGED HELMET FOR THE DEFENSE. UNFORTUNATELY FOR THE INDIANS, A HAT ISN'T THE ONLY THING LOST BY ALLANSON. SAFE
IMMOVABLE OBJECT MIKELAVALLIEREOFTHE PIRATES MEETS IRRESISTIBLE FORCE MIKE DAVIS OF THE DODGERS. THE OBJECT WINS,ASLAVALUERE SOMEHOW HOLDS THE BALL. OUT, BUT OUCH
SOMETIMES IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE. AS THE BALL BOUNCES FREE, BARRY LYONS OF THE METSGETSAGLOVEFUL OF JOEL YOUNGBLOOD OF THE GIANTS AND THEN A MOUTHFUL OF DIRT. SAFE. AND SORRY