You get the picture?

If you do, you must be spending entirely too much time hanging
around PGA Tour player Brad Faxon and his caddie, John (Cubby)
Burke.

They have their own language when it comes to figuring out what
club to hit on a particular shot. First, almost any yardage has
a famous jersey number attached to it. For instance, 132 yards
would be one-O.J., for the No. 32 O.J. Simpson wore as a Buffalo
Bill. One-LT is 156 for New York Giant linebacker Lawrence
Taylor. One-Mario is 166, for the 66 of Pittsburgh Penguin
center iceman Mario Lemieux, a Cubby favorite. Seven yards
further to the pin is plus Elway (for Denver Bronco quarterback
John).

Seventy-seven is Red Grange, 44 is Reggie (for slugger Reggie
Jackson), 19 is Johnny U (quarterback Johnny Unitas) and so on.

Anything shot into the wind is Bob Seger, for his hit song
Against the Wind. Anything with the wind is Bette Midler, for
her song Wind Beneath My Wings. Reagan to Clinton is, of course,
a right-to-left wind.

So when Cubby tells Faxon, "One-Wayne to the front, plus Roger,
Bob Seger, a little Clinton to Reagan," you know it's 199 yards
to the front (for Wayne Gretzky's number), plus 12 yards to the
pin (for Roger Staubach's), into a left-to-right wind.

"We're not well people," says Faxon.

--Rick Reilly

COLOR PHOTO: JACQUELINE DUVOISIN "Whadda we got?" "One-Wayne to the front, plus Roger, Bob Seger, a little Clinton to Reagan." [speech bubbles depicting conversation between Brad Faxon and John (Cubby) Burke]

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)