Guilty. In each of the last two years, most of us thought
Saturday's would be, beyond a reasonable doubt, the de facto
final round of golf's most celebrated tournament. In 1996 Greg
Norman shot a 71, giving himself a six-shot lead. The next day,
of course, the Shark collapsed. Last year Tiger Woods shot a
magical 65 to triple his lead to nine shots. But Sunday was
still a must-see, as Tiger expanded his margin to
record-breaking proportions. At the end of play today, will the
leader board once again resemble an open-and-shut case, or will
the jury be out? Tiger tease: The last American to repeat as
champion at Augusta was Jack Nicklaus (1965 and '66), the man
who predicted that Woods will win 10 green jackets.
CBS, SATURDAY, 3:30 PM; SUNDAY, 4 PM
April 12, 1998
Bausch & Lomb Championships
Ways to improve women's tennis: 1) Install a courtside
Port-a-John for a certain top-ranked player; 2) have the
marketing department think up a catchy slogan (e.g., "We got
net"); and 3) more Williams sisters! Last year Venus Williams
(left) entered this tournament ranked 101st; now, at age 17,
she's 10th. Sis Serena, 16, is ranked 30th. (Three other
Williams sisters don't play.) Venus looked unbeatable in winning
the IGA Classic and the Lipton Championships. Should she advance
to today's final, one rival she won't face is No. 1-ranked
Martina Hingis, whom Venus defeated at the Lipton and who is
eschewing the clay on Amelia Island, S.C.
ESPN, 2 PM
Astros at Dodgers
Rupert Murdoch, who owns Fox, recently purchased Los
Angeles--the baseball team, not the city. Here's our dream
Dodgers lineup of Fox employees: Leading off, at shortskirt,
Ally McBeal. Batting second, Homer Simpson's wicked boss, Mr.
Burns. Following Burns, as he always does, the obsequious
Smithers. Batting clean-cut and playing (Mr.) Right, 90210's
Brandon Walsh. Stealing signs, husbands and deeds to companies,
that vixen Amanda from nearby Melrose Place. Way out in
leftfield, because the truth is out there, the X-Files's Fox
Mulder. Remaining at catcher, Mike Piazza. In '97 the five-time
All-Star batted .362 while smacking 40 home runs. Houston,
tonight's foe, has added punch to its lineup in the person of
World Series hero and former Marlins outfielder Moises Alou.
ESPN, 8 PM
Flyers at Sabres
He shoots, he snores. Waiting for the puck to go in the net past
Buffalo goaltender Dominik Hasek (left) can be a soporific, not
to mention futile, exercise. Through Sunday, Hasek had 13
shutouts this season, only two shy of the modern record set by
the Blackhawks' Tony Esposito in 1969-70. The Dominator may
become the first goalie to win back-to-back Hart trophies as the
league's MVP. From Philadelphia at week's end came the word that
Eric Lindros, the Flyers' All-Star center, would be returning to
the lineup tonight for the first time since he suffered a
concussion on March 7.
ESPN, 7:30 PM
Wizards at Knicks
With apologies to the Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow and the Tin
Man--and to Rod Strickland (right):
They could while away the season,
Their talent bent on treason,
And drive their coach insane,
Or the Wizards (not the Knicks!) Might say,
"These problems we could fix,
If we only had a brain."
Slick Rod Strickland is the point Wiz,
And Chris Webber often gets his.
They set Washington apart,
Thus Wiz woes beg explanation,
Or a Starr investigation,
If they only had some heart!
Now New Yorkers aren't booin',
They're just wailin', "We miss Ewin',"
Whose arm's been in a sling.
"I'll return," Pat's assertin'
'Cause he'd really ease his hurtin',
If he only had a ring.
TNT, 8 PM
THE ! ZAPPER
Given the travails of the telecasters of Troy, Southern Cal
alumnus Marcus Allen probably made the right call last week when
he decided to spurn CBS's offer of a studio job on NFL telecasts
and return to the Kansas City Chiefs. In this year of the Trojan
Hoarse, USC man Frank Gifford has been dumped from the Monday
Night Football booth. Another former Trojan gridiron star, Lynn
Swann, was jettisoned as MNF sideline reporter. Finally,
erstwhile USC hoopster Tom Selleck's new CBS sitcom, The Closer,
was closer to being benched after performing weakly in the
ALL TIMES EASTERN. SCHEDULES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.