From AARP to Zamboni Here, for your ready reference, is an illustrated (albeit fanciful) index to this week's SI

March 13, 2000

AARP and WBO
to cosanction next Holyfield fight, 71

Boumtje Boumtje, Ruben
scores double double versus UConn's Ajou Ajou Deng, 26 duets on
Mony Mony with Wisconsin's Duany Duany, 27 eats couscous with
Boutros Boutros-Ghali, 28 travels to Bora-Bora, contracts
beriberi, 29-30

Carter, Vince
Toronto Raptors, forward for, 59
Gomer Pyle, sergeant on, 116

Do Re Mi
Rae Carruth lists his three favorite things, 66

E.D.
euphemism for Bob Dole's dysfunction (Viagra ad), 17
Eric Davis, Eric Dickerson discard monogrammed bedsheets, 33

FU
Fordham University chant, 70
and the horse you rode in on, 25

Graf, Steffi and Agassi, Andre
marry, announce plans to, 8
chain? Are you yanking my, 9

H, Preparation
Reds backup centerfielder buys case of, 22

Isaiah
Biblical scribe, wrote "I am holier than thou," 51
Atlanta Hawk, once told scribe, "I know people who can take you
out," 32

Jazz
incongruity of nickname in Utah, where there's plenty of "honky"
but very little "tonk," 72

Knight, Bob
and increasing resemblance to Santa Claus, 15

Lipinski, Tara
and ice show with hockey's Bryan Smolinski, Martin Rucinsky, Jim
Peplinski and Steve (the Puck Goes Inski) Buzinski, 92
and celebrity Skee-Ball tournament with Greg Luzinski, Monica
Lewinsky, Nastassja Kinski and the late Igor Stravinsky, 24

MCMLXVII
first Super Bowl the Saints will win, 111
how Steve Young spells potato, 44

Nomar
Garciaparra, 5
-gin for error, 99
Mr. Nice Guy, 35

O'Grady, Mac
plays Marco Polo with Mark O'Meara off Marco Island, 31

Phanatic, Philly
attends Phish concert, 87
takes Fen/Phen, 88
phound dead, 89

Quasimodo
had better time at Notre Dame than Bob Davie, 12

Retox
where Lawrence Taylor goes after detox, 54

Scratch & Sniff (photography)
SI's NFL Preview to feature (Letter from the Editor), 3

tan, half-man and half-
scientists discover Dan Majerle is, 50

U.
Johnny, nickname of Colts legend, 101
-G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi you UGLY [clap clap] you UGLY
[woo!]," beloved cheer that goes, 84

Van de Velde, Jean
"happy" in Tibetan monastery (CATCHING UP WITH), 2

"Whoa, Nellie!"
as signature line of ABC's Keith Jackson, 43
as signature line of Mrs. Nelson Briles, 52

X X X X X X X X X X
Jerome Bettis's bowling score, 14
autographs of every starter in Fresno State-Cincinnati
basketball game, 36

Yo-Yo Ma
concert cellist, 7
Vinny Testaverde, Vinny Del Negro phone home on Mother's Day, 62

Zamboni
and zeppelinlike disaster of, 74-78
zigs to avoid Zarley Zalapski, 75
zags into Ziggy Palffy, Peter Zezel, 76-77

THREE COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS: ILLUSTRATIONS BY DAN PICASSO

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)