Even though Ben Crenshaw uses Carl Jackson as his caddie at the
Masters, I still went to Augusta just to sample the town's
earthly delights. There are groves of two-legged Georgia peaches
in their sundresses, meandering the tournament grounds, and this
year I got a deal on tournament badges after ticket brokers saw
their prices plummet like Cisco stock. I got a kick out of
walking the course and listening to all the
misinformation--"Look, son, there's Hallelujah Corner." But the
most fun I had was at one of the annual Calcuttas that take
place in Augusta. The one I went to is held at a different
secret location every year to stay one step ahead of the
constables. Players are sold to the highest bidder, and when the
auctioneer gets rolling, money is thrown around as it would be
at a drunken Monopoly game. I bought Angel Cabrera and Kirk
Triplett, both of whom kept me an interested spectator over the
weekend. Meanwhile, the Striped One was in such demand that they
had to cut him in half. One good ol' boy paid $3,000 for the
head and $3,000 more for the tail, and the guy didn't even get
charged for poaching.

Linn Stricker, a.k.a. Growler, is a veteran Tour caddie.

COLOR PHOTO: DAVID WALBERG

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)