The pigskin comedian on Fox's NFL Sunday has landed his own ABC
talk show, which starts in January and will follow Nightline
(replacing Politically Incorrect).

SI: Do you have incriminating photos of Disney chairman Michael
Eisner or is this hiring based on your amazing comedic talents?

Kimmel: This is a combination of my talents and ABC's ignorance.

SI: Is this just an underhanded way to eventually land a job on
Monday Night Football?

Kimmel: If it didn't work with Dennis Miller, they sure as hell
won't roll the dice on me.

SI: How much will your show revolve around sports?

Kimmel: Much of my life revolves around sports, so a good deal of
it. For instance, since my first show airs after the Super Bowl,
I'll probably mention it.

SI: What sports stars would you like to have as guests?

Kimmel: Shaq and Kobe. Mike Piazza. Terry Bradshaw. Anyone in a
collect phone call commercial, really.

SI: What's the one thing you'd like to ask one particular

Kimmel: I'd ask Mike Tyson, "Why, my brother? Why?"

SI: Why don't you make like Joe Namath and guarantee us that
you'll kick Craig Kilborn's butt in the ratings?

Kimmel: Well, I am like Joe Namath in that I'm wearing stockings
right now.

SI: As a prognosticator, do you miss Jimmy the Greek?

Kimmel: No, but as a fan of crazy people on television, I do.

SI: Does ABC know that you dropped out of both UNLV and Arizona

Kimmel: Not only did I drop out of college, I dropped out of
really bad colleges.

SI: What beverage goes best with football?

Kimmel: I'd have to say a Chablis.

SI: What beverage goes best with Nightline?

Kimmel: A nice shot of Crown Royal.

SI: Who's your ideal first guest?

Kimmel: David Letterman, but I don't think that will happen, will

SI: Will ABC make you show your naked butt on camera the way
Dennis Franz did on NYPD Blue?

Kimmel: God, I hope so. That's what Americans need to see as they
doze off. --Richard Deitsch