Search

Frankenshaq

Oct. 28, 2002
Oct. 28, 2002

Table of Contents
Oct. 28, 2002

NBA Preview 2002-03

Frankenshaq

He Walks. He Talks. He Rules. Because no mere mortal has been
able to stem the onslaught of Shaquille O'Neal, we have turned
to mad science. By gathering the best body parts from the finest
large specimens in the NBA, we have created a beast built for
one momentous task: Stop the Lakers' center.

This is an article from the Oct. 28, 2002 issue

BEHOLD THE MONSTER

BRAIN
Tim Duncan
The Spurs' cerebral 7-footer doesn't always win the big games,
but he seldom loses his cool.

EYES
Arvydas Sabonis
No other big man has the court vision of the unretired Blazers
center. Plus, at 37, he's seen it all.

EARS
Pau Gasol
Having made a seamless transition from Europe to the NBA at 21,
this Grizzly's not just hearing. He's listening.

MOUTH
Vlade Divac
He has a way with words, both in the Kings' locker room and in
the refs' ears.

CHIN
Brad Miller
No player antagonizes Shaq like the Pacers' pivot--and he's shown
that he'll stand up to O'Neal's best punch.

LEFT ARM
Raef LaFrentz
The only thing better than a shot blocker is a southpaw shot
blocker. (Dallas forward's lefty jumper doesn't hurt either.)

RIGHT ARM
Dirk Nowitzki
The best way to counteract Shaq in the paint? Lure him out of it,
which this Mav's smooth righty stroke will surely do.

ELBOWS
Dikembe Mutombo
Trick of the trade: The Nets' center "accidentally" throws 'bows
that seem to have been whetted between quarters.

UPPER BODY
Karl Malone
To slow Shaq, it helps to have a tree trunk for a torso. At 39,
the Jazz great has that--and a bushelful of pecs.

HEART
Ben Wallace
League leader in boards and blocks may be undersized
at 6'9", but this Piston's pride is disproportionately large.

BUTT
Yao Ming
How do you say "baby got back" in Mandarin? Rockets rookie has a
superior posterior--and it'll only grow.

RIGHT HAND
Todd MacCulloch
Big Mac may be league's best-passing big man. Sixer also catches
everything, a skill honed snatching Jason Kidd's hot potatoes.

LEFT HAND
Chris Webber
Though it's not his preferred mitt, Kings forward uses it well to
grab rebounds and launch all manner of shots around the basket.

RIGHT LEG
Kevin Garnett
KG can rack up the FGs. Explosive T-Wolves forward blows by Shaq
with a turbo-powered first step.

LEFT LEG
Elton Brand
Once the other post man in L.A. plants his leg, getting him out
of that position requires heavy machinery.

RIGHT FOOT
Rasheed Wallace
Deft inside moves by Blazers forward can turn Shaq's feet into
pretzels.

LEFT FOOT
Antonio Davis
Raptors' versatile frontcourt man is as nimble and fleet as any
center in the league.

COLOR PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY EDMUND GUY JOHN W. MCDONOUGH (BRAIN); ROBERT MORA/GETTY IMAGES (SCALP); JOE MURPHY/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (EARS); SAM FORENCICH (EYES); JED JACOBSOHN/GETTY IMAGES (MOUTH); ROCKY WIDNER/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (CHIN); ELIOT J. SCHECTER/GETTY IMAGES (UPPER BODY); NATHANIEL S. BUTLER/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (RIGHT ARM, LEFT LEG); TIM DEFRISCO/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (LEFT ARM); NOREN TROTMAN/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (RIGHT HAND); BARRY GOSSAGE/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (LEFT HAND); STEVE DIPAOLA/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (RIGHT FOOT); RON TURENNE/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (LEFT FOOT); WALTER IOOSS JR. (O'NEAL)