TEXAS NATIVE Jessica Simpson will play David Clyde's girlfriend
in Walk On, a movie about the 18-year-old pitcher who broke into
the majors with the Rangers in 1973 three weeks after graduating
from high school. Simpson and Clyde's former real-life
sweetheart, Cheryl Crawford, share a penchant for false
eyelashes, but the way Clyde sees it, the singer has more in
common with his 13-year-old daughter, Lauren. "Lauren had the
same confusion that I understand Ms. Simpson had over whether
Chicken of the Sea is actually chicken or tuna," says Clyde,
referring to Simpson's memorable gaffe on her MTV show,
Newlyweds. The male lead has not been cast, but the 48-year-old
Clyde, who won 18 games in a five-year major league career and
now gives private baseball lessons near his suburban Houston
home, says he would prefer a "young Harrison Ford" to fill the
role of the boy who didn't quite make it among men.

--The Derek Jeter Celebrity Golf Classic, held on Jan. 19 at
Avila Golf and Country Club in Tampa, drew an impressive field,
including Michael Jordan, Jay-Z, Roy Jones Jr., Warren Sapp,
Jorge Posada and Don Zimmer. On the 18th green Jordan missed a
short putt, prompting Sapp, who was standing nearby, to blurt
out, "Does your husband play golf, too?" After turning his stare
on Sapp, His Airness shot back, "Aren't you supposed to be in
the playoffs?"

--Zoo Weekly, a new British laddie mag, was looking to make a
splash to coincide with its debut. In what editor Paul Merrill
called "the mother of all moonies," the magazine took out ad
space on the back of the spandex undershorts of 10 players on the
English soccer team Scarborough. The tiny club's fourth-round FA
cup game against superpower Chelsea last Saturday was aired live
in England. After Scarborough's first goal, the players were to
line up and pull down their shorts, spelling the magazine's name.
Said captain Jimmy Kelly before the match, "I'm just hoping that
in the heat of the moment, we all will line up in the right order
to get the spelling of Zoo Weekly spot on. The lads are much more
confident in their scoring ability than their spelling ability."
Alas, they proved to be overconfident. Chelsea eked out a 1-0
win, and the cheeky players kept their shorts on.

--January 21 was a very bad day for Keyshawn Johnson. First John
Mahannah Jr., who recently dated Johnson's ex-wife, Shikiri
Hightower-Johnson, filed suit against Johnson, claiming that the
wide receiver left him harassing messages. (One, left after
Johnson was deactivated by Tampa Bay in November for "disruptive
behavior," said, "I got a lot of free time on my hands now, and
I'm going to hunt you down and beat you to a pulp.") Then after
being hit with the suit, Johnson was mugged at gunpoint outside a
barbershop in Berkeley, Calif., by two men who took $1,000, his
watch and some jewelry.... The U.S. Postal Service cycling team's
training camp in Solvang, Calif., has become the hot place for
rock stars to hang out. Well, at least one. Sheryl Crow has been
dropping in frequently to see her beau, Lance Armstrong, whom she
has been dating since his divorce became final in December. On a
visit last weekend Armstrong gave Crow, whose birthday is Feb.
11, an early present: a mountain bike. "She's not a cyclist, but
she'll pick it up," Armstrong told USA Today. Although their
relationship is still in the training-wheels stage, the five-time
Tour de France champ said, "I've never been happier."

COLOR PHOTO: SHAMIL ZHUMATOV/REUTERS (PICTURE THIS) PICTURE THIS Rabbit, run! In what may be the world's oldest talon contest, a golden eagle swooped down on a hare near the town of Taldy-Korgan in northern Kazakhstan last Friday. It was part of a hunting competition in which humans used birds to track down prey, reviving a nomadic tradition. COLOR PHOTO: ICON SPORTS MEDIA (O'NEAL) COLOR PHOTO: SCOTT GRIES/GETTY IMAGES (SIMPSON) Jessica plays Cheryl COLOR PHOTO: TONY TRIOLO (CRAWFORD) [See caption above]


Moments after scoring the game-winning goal in a soccer match in
Chile, striker El Rulo was shot in the shoulder by an opposing


Lakers center, on why he didn't know the phone number for the
team's practice facility: "We as humans use only eight percent of
our craniums. Why fill it up with nonessential things?"

Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)