Every week the PGA Tour provides plenty of good golf and, for
those willing to sift through the transcripts of postround
interviews, no shortage of strange, surprising and just plain
funny quotes. Here are 10 beauties from the West Coast swing. Can
you tell who said what?
1. "I lost a lot of the muscles in my hand. I lost all my
calluses, my hand shrunk, the size of it, everything."
2. "If I walk away from the game right now, I think I've had a
pretty good career. It's hard to say that I haven't had a good
3. "That was my first ever competitive round, I think, without
having any nicotine in my body. That was another first. No beer,
March 8, 2004
4. "They can invite all the women they want to; they can't beat
5. "I love match play. It's kill or be killed every single day."
6. "Yeah, I'll be relaxed. It's only golf, man. It's not that big
a deal. It's not life or death."
7. "You're constantly chasing your tail, and as you chase it, you
get smarter and smarter, and this is how you get to the level
where you're moving up and up and up."
8. "My first couple of holes, my ball was a wimp; he wouldn't
listen to me. But I changed balls after two holes, and he
listened to me very well. I told him to go in, and he would go
9. "I don't see myself living to be 100. Fuzzy has got me at 50
to 1 making it to 50. Hell, if I can get there and get to the
senior tour and ride in a cart, man, I'll be happy."
10. "She has a hell of a future, and she's a nice person. We had
a nice morning."
ANSWERS: 1. David Toms on playing after wrist surgery; 2. Tiger
Woods; 3. Darren Clarke on his health kick; 4. Vijay Singh; 5.
Jerry Kelly; 6. Jonathan Kaye on entering the final round of the
FBR Open with the lead; 7. Stuart Appleby on self-improvement; 8.
Michelle Wie at the Sony Open; 9. John Daly; 10. Ernie Els after
playing with Wie.
GOLF PLUS will next appear as a Special 10th-Anniversary Issue on