Saw The Chronicles of Riddick. What a rip-off. Over two hours,
not one mention of boot camp or the parachute guy.

PISTONS PUMPING DIESEL AND CO. Are you like me? Are you waiting
for J.Lo to dump Marc Anthony and go after Bill Davidson?

Kid Rock sang America the Beautiful before Game 4. Speaking of
Kid Rock, how about Shaq's new free throw technique?

Magic Johnson called the Lakers' effort in their Game 3 loss
unacceptable. In fact, he's been so disappointed in the team,
he's this close to changing the slogan at his 30 Burger King
franchises to Have It Yao Way.

Detroit's run has been so inspiring, Larry Brown is actually
thinking about unpacking.

Police in Detroit are investigating a Pistons fan's claim that
Karl Malone poked him in the face before Game 3. If the
allegation turns out to be true, the fan gets to guest-host Jimmy
Kimmel.

Sales of Lakers merchandise are up 50% from last year's playoffs.
In fact, the most common thing you hear at the NBA Store is,
"Look, pal, all we have is Medvedenko...."

Meanwhile, somebody stop Larry Bird. Now he's claiming he'd like
to see more white superstars on the Washington Generals.

In an interview on ESPN, Bird said he felt "personally insulted"
when a white player was assigned to guard him. Psychiatrists have
a name for this syndrome: paranoid Schintzius-ophrenia.

INTERLEAGUE PLAY RESUMES, WORLDS COLLIDE A lot of people bash
interleague play, but seriously, is there anything more exciting
than the chance to see Barry Bonds take four wide ones in an
American League park?

I prefer when the National League hosts the games, and the AL
managers have to hire guys from the Rand Corporation to explain
how to work a double switch.

The Royals had a smart promotion for their series with the Mets:
Carlos Beltran Bobblehead on the Trading Block Night.

Nomar Garciaparra returned to the Red Sox' lineup after missing
the first 57 games. Despite that time off he is a close second in
the All-Star voting for shortstop. Something's amiss. Guess who's
running fourth among outfielders? Pat Buchanan.

The walls at Tropicana Field have been painted dark green.
Apparently, they had a few extra buckets left over after putting
a second coat on the outfield.

PARCELLS APOLOGIZES FOR INSENSITIVE REMARK ABOUT JAPANESE And I
don't know if this will help. He's offering to change his
nickname from Tuna to Maguro.

During a press conference, Parcells referred to surprise plays as
"Jap plays." Sounds like somebody hired one of Junior Seau's
writers.

Meanwhile, the Cowboys renewed their licensing agreement with Dr
Pepper. There's a nice change: Jerry Jones getting a pound of
flesh from a doctor.

SONY PICTURES BEGINS ADAPTATION OF BEST-SELLING BOOK MONEYBALL
Hollywood insiders believe the picture will be in development for
three years, then get rid of all the stars.

MICHAEL JORDAN AND DEREK JETER PAY $2 MILLION EACH FOR VILLAS AT
TRUMP NATIONAL GOLF CLUB Of course, Jordan could have had his
villa for $1 million--if he'd just been dealt a face card.

MIKE TYSON'S HOUSE IN VEGAS UP FOR SALE The asking price is $3.9
million, but this may take a while. Three real estate agents have
already been mauled by tigers.

SCOTTY BOWMAN A SPOKESMAN FOR LEVITRA So now it's official. The
only time Bowman failed to perform was with the Sabres.

COLOR ILLUSTRATION: ILLUSTRATION BY JEFF WONG

Bill Scheft is celebrating the 25th anniversary of his
brainchild, the College World Series of Poker.

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)