•PRODIGAL SON We've been waiting for years, and finally the next great young golfer has emerged. Introducing Tiger Woods.
•1999 AGAIN Tiger's No. 1, and Annika Sorenstam holds off Karrie Webb for a win. Quick, sell your Pets.com stock!
•BIG SQUEEZY Ernie Els was forced to fly economy to Dubai in a middle seat. He had a shot at the aisle but came in second.
•JUSTIN TIME Justin Rose of England will abandon the Euro tour to play in the U.S. No word on whether he plans to insult Americans before making the move.
March 14, 2005
•TEX-IAN Ian Baker-Finch will play in this year's Colonial. Guess he figures there's no way to go left in George Bush's home state.
•TACO BELLES The LPGA and NASCAR were in Mexico last week, proving that women do chase guys with hot cars.
•PARKING LOT Sponsors deserve to get their money's worth, but there were so many Fords parked on the Blue Monster it looked like Phil Mickelson's garage.