THE BEST JOKE I CAN TELL IN SPORTS ILLUSTRATED

April 10, 2005

A man stops to ask directions from a farmer sitting on his porch and is amazed to see a three-legged pig sitting at the farmer's feet. "That's a weird-looking pig," the man says. The farmer is furious. "Don't you ever say anything bad about this pig!" he says. "Just last week my wife and I were sleeping, and a fire broke out. This pig dragged us both to safety. Last month a robber broke into the house. The pig knocked him down, dialed 911 with his snout and sat on him until the police arrived. So don't ever say anything bad about him."

"I'm sorry," the man says. "But what's the deal with the three legs?"

"Mister," the farmer says, "a pig like this you don't eat all at once."

COLOR PHOTOJESSE D. GARRABRANT/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (JEFFERSON)
COLOR PHOTOPHOTODISC GREEN/GETTY IMAGES (PIG)

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)