THE BEST JOKES WE CAN TELL IN SPORTS ILLUSTRATED ...

May 29, 2005

"Two antennae got married. The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great."

Jake Westbrook, Indians Pitcher

"An ant and an elephant marry. The first night of their honeymoon, the two make love, but the elephant has a heart attack and dies. The ant is devastated and says, 'Five minutes of passion, and now I have to spend the rest of my life digging a grave.'"

Luis Isaac, Indians Bullpen Coach

COLOR PHOTORONALD MARTINEZ/GETTY IMAGES (WESTBROOK); COLOR PHOTO DOUG PENSINGER/GETTY IMAGES (ISAAC);

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)