Fore Thoughts

August 07, 2005

Out on the golf course, a forecaddie deserves combat pay. He stands 250 yards from the tee, tries not to get hit by the ball and then signals back what happened to the shot. The pros' next two stops--Castle Pines for The International and Baltusrol for the PGA Championship--employ forecaddies. Here's some help interpreting their signals.

You can hit any day now, Mr. Langer.

That's wet.

Easy birdie.

Time to take up bowling.

You'll love that shot.

Better press the bet. You've lost this hole.

The shot hit my foot!

We'll need Lassie to find it.

That was long. Are you on steroids?

Call 911. You hit the guy in front of us.

That's an entire sleeve of balls you've lost on this hole.

You're looking at a snowman here.

It's hairy down there.

Meet the Hendersons. You're in their yard.

That shot stinks.

You're buying drinks. It's in the hole!

COLOR PHOTOPETER READ MILLER 16 B/W ILLUSTRATIONSILLUSTRATIONS BY DWIGHT ALLOTT

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)