THE BEST JOKE I CAN TELL IN SI (Or: Why Stuart Appleby Keeps His Day Job)

January 23, 2006

A guy steps up to the 1st tee with his invisible clubs and his invisible ball and gets ready to play a round of invisible golf. After his first swing another guy notices him, asks him what he's doing and then says, 'Why don't we play a match?' So the two go off, playing their invisible match, and sure enough, it comes down to 18, all square.

"The first guy hits his invisible tee shot, and the second asks, 'So, where did it go?' First guy says, '275, straight down the middle.' Second guy hits his shot. First guy says, 'Where did it go?' 'Same as yours--275 right down the middle.' They get out to the fairway, and the second guy asks, 'Who's away?' First guy says, 'I guess I am' and steps up and takes a rip at it with his invisible seven-iron. Second guy says, 'Where'd it go?' First guy says, 'That's stiff--two feet!'

"The second guy says, 'Too bad you played my ball.'

PHOTOHUNTER MARTIN/WIREIMAGE.COM (APPLEBY)

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)