SI: Yale hasgiven us John Kerry, George W. Bush and Lewis Black, but no No. 1 NFL picks.What does that say about Yale?
Black: Itsurprises me. With Kerry, Bush and myself, one would think that we're not thatbright a school and we should pick up somebody who could play the sport.
SI: You once saidthat food, golf and sex make you feel all warm and fuzzy. In what order?
Black: Sex,first. But if I could actually make a par in golf, then golf would go way aheadof sex.
February 13, 2006
SI: Why do youhate fantasy football?
Black: I playedfantasy baseball, and it destroyed all my feelings for baseball. It becomes notabout anything except who you pick. It's just insane for somebody to sit thereand scream for Peyton Manning on one side and Curtis Martin on the other.
SI: You achievedbig success later in life. Do you compare your career to any athlete's?
Black: SatchelPaige [laughs]. I think he broke into the majors at the same age I broke intomy celebrity. We were both in our 50s.
SI: You did somecommentaries on HBO's Inside the NFL. How did those go over?
Black: We onlydid five of them last year, which is good. Costas might be the only one whounderstood what we were talking about. The expression sometimes on Marino'sface when I'm finished was like, "Wow."
SI: I say,"Fat guys in jerseys." You say ...
Black: God, Idon't even know where to start. I was at a Chargers game recently and it wasjust horrifying. It's just the weirdest thing to see a guy who weighs 400pounds wearing a LaDainian Tomlinson jersey. If you weigh that much, wouldn'tyou want to dress up as a guard?
• For more fromLewis Black, go to SI.com/scorecard.