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Deja P.U.

Oct. 02, 2006
Oct. 02, 2006

Table of Contents
Oct. 2, 2006

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Deja P.U.

The American team has witnessed this scene before, and it still stinks

On sodden Irishturf, the golf division of the booming European Union won the Ryder Cup for thefifth time in six meetings. The victors dominated the day with 12 players whorefer to matches as games. The twelvesome included three native sons, fiveBrits, two hug-happy Spaniards and two Swedes, shepherded by a Welshman wholooks like your grandmother and who filled out lineup cards like Joe Torre.

This is an article from the Oct. 2, 2006 issue

SinglesSmackdown
What used to be a U.S. specialty is now a Euro domain

View this article in the original magazine


U.S.W-L-TBEFOREAFTERANALYSIS
WOODS3-2-0Wants last shot--like MikeSometimes a heroAfter winning five in a row he was running on empty
MICKELSON0-4-1Be happy that he's on your side-Could Winged Foot hurt his confidence so much?
FURYK2-3-0Be happy that he's on your sideWhere's Chris Riley?Dumping the shot in the water on 18 was a killer
CAMPBELL0-1-2Sometimes a heroSometimes a heroI would've played him in all five matches
TOMS0-3-1Sometimes a heroCalling Dr. PhilHe played well, but his partners were anchors
DIMARCO0-3-1Be happy that he's on your sideWhere's Chris Riley?Our match-play king fell flat. He's overrated
TAYLOR0-1-1Calling Dr. PhilWhere's Chris Riley?Had good moments; didn't see much action
HENRY0-0-3Sometimes a heroBe happy that he's on your sideOne guy who showed some spine on closing holes
JOHNSON1-2-1Calling Dr. PhilCalling Dr. PhilGave us more than we hoped--one hot match
WETTERICH0-2-0Where's Chris Riley?Where's Chris Riley?Tell me again how he got on the team?
CINK1-1-3Sometimes a heroBe happy that he's on your sideMy MVP, for stuffing Sergio in singles
VERPLANK2-0-0Be happy that he's on your sideBe happy that he's on your sideNot using him in foursomes was a mistake
LEHMAN-Be happy that he's on your sideBe happy that he's on your sideGot team to bond, not that it mattered
EUR.W-L-TBEFOREAFTERANALYSIS
MONTGOMERIE1-1-2Loves to kick American buttSeve says second is for losersBeatable in majors, unbeatable in singles
HOWELL2-0-1Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersDidn't play his best yet never lost. Good partner
STENSON1-1-1Owns home in FloridaSeve says second is for losersI heard a TV guy say he's going to win majors
GARCIA4-1-0Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersHe'll be defined by his great Ryder Cup play
CASEY2-0-2Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersWalk-off ace the coolest thing I've seen in golf
KARLSSON0-1-2Owns home in FloridaSeve says second is for losersU.S. TV only wanted to talk about his height
HARRINGTON0-4-1Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersPlayed like crap but promoted Ireland well
DONALD3-0-0Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersThe next Nick Faldo rode Sergio's coattails some
MCGINLEY0-1-2Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersClassy move conceding putt to Henry on 18
OLAZABAL3-0-0Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersEvery time I looked he was making a big putt
CLARKE3-0-0Loves to kick American buttSeve says second is for losersEven I almost cried when he finished
WESTWOOD3-0-2Seve says second is for losersSeve says second is for losersThomas Bjorn can shut up now about this pick
WOOSNAM-Steady as she goesSeve says second is for losersWas Woosie a genius, or were his players hot?


U.S. PRESSURE INDEX KEY

--Wants lastshot--like Mike

--Be happy thathe's on your side

--Sometimes ahero

--Calling Dr.Phil

--Where's ChrisRiley?

EUROPE PRESSUREINDEX KEY

--Seve sayssecond is for losers

--Loves to kickAmerican butt

--Steady as shegoes

--Owns home inFlorida

--Keep a lighton, please

Golf Plus willnext appear with the Oct. 16 Sports Illustrated.

TIGER TRACKER

What kind of cat was he today?
PUSSYCAT
ALLEY CAT
MAN-EATER

MAN-EATER
Woods was among the first Americans to congratulate Clarke, not for defeatingJohnson in his singles match or for the European win but for finding his wayback to golf's main stage after the death of his wife, Heather. There's morehuman being in Woods than we'll probably ever know.

KEY STAT

6

Matches won by the U.S. out of 28. Ouch! Tiger winsmore often playing against entire fields.

New Math

The U.S. reeked, as did the ratings, down 30% from'02, the last Ryder abroad

TIME DIFFERENCE + REPORTS OF EURO ROUT + TAPE DELAY ONFRIDAY-SATURDAY - TIVO  =  RATINGS DEBACLE

PHOTOROBERT BECK  SICKFEELING Henry got a gift half point, a fraction of the lowly 3 1/2 won by theU.S. in singles.SEVEN PHOTOSROBERT BECK (CLINTON, MICKELSON); PGA OF AMERICA (PGA LOGO); SIMON BRUTY (TOMS); PAT DOYLE/CORBIS (PUSSYCAT); CORBIS (ALLEY CAT); DORLING KINDERSLEY/GETTY IMAGES (TIGER)TEN PHOTOSROBERT BECK (WOODS AND WILLIAMS, OPENING CEREMONY, CLARKE AND WESTWOOD, CLOCK, GARCIA); LAURENT REBOURS/AP (WOODS AND MICKELSON); SIMON BRUTY (WOOSNAM); NBC (NBC LOGO); TIVO INC./AP (TIVO)PHOTOERIC GAY/AP (AXLEY)TROPHY WIFE After a 71 and a win, Axley got a hug from the missus, Cortney.TWO PHOTOSDAVID WALBERG (MORGAN); SIMON BRUTY (MONTGOMERIE)TWO PHOTOSDAVID E. KLUTHO (JORDAN); JOHN IACONO (BALLESTEROS)