Deja P.U.

The American team has witnessed this scene before, and it still stinks
October 01, 2006

On sodden Irishturf, the golf division of the booming European Union won the Ryder Cup for thefifth time in six meetings. The victors dominated the day with 12 players whorefer to matches as games. The twelvesome included three native sons, fiveBrits, two hug-happy Spaniards and two Swedes, shepherded by a Welshman wholooks like your grandmother and who filled out lineup cards like Joe Torre.

SinglesSmackdown
What used to be a U.S. specialty is now a Euro domain


U.S. W-L-T BEFORE AFTER ANALYSIS
WOODS 3-2-0 Wants last shot--like Mike Sometimes a hero After winning five in a row he was running on empty
MICKELSON 0-4-1 Be happy that he's on your side - Could Winged Foot hurt his confidence so much?
FURYK 2-3-0 Be happy that he's on your side Where's Chris Riley? Dumping the shot in the water on 18 was a killer
CAMPBELL 0-1-2 Sometimes a hero Sometimes a hero I would've played him in all five matches
TOMS 0-3-1 Sometimes a hero Calling Dr. Phil He played well, but his partners were anchors
DIMARCO 0-3-1 Be happy that he's on your side Where's Chris Riley? Our match-play king fell flat. He's overrated
TAYLOR 0-1-1 Calling Dr. Phil Where's Chris Riley? Had good moments; didn't see much action
HENRY 0-0-3 Sometimes a hero Be happy that he's on your side One guy who showed some spine on closing holes
JOHNSON 1-2-1 Calling Dr. Phil Calling Dr. Phil Gave us more than we hoped--one hot match
WETTERICH 0-2-0 Where's Chris Riley? Where's Chris Riley? Tell me again how he got on the team?
CINK 1-1-3 Sometimes a hero Be happy that he's on your side My MVP, for stuffing Sergio in singles
VERPLANK 2-0-0 Be happy that he's on your side Be happy that he's on your side Not using him in foursomes was a mistake
LEHMAN - Be happy that he's on your side Be happy that he's on your side Got team to bond, not that it mattered
EUR. W-L-T BEFORE AFTER ANALYSIS
MONTGOMERIE 1-1-2 Loves to kick American butt Seve says second is for losers Beatable in majors, unbeatable in singles
HOWELL 2-0-1 Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers Didn't play his best yet never lost. Good partner
STENSON 1-1-1 Owns home in Florida Seve says second is for losers I heard a TV guy say he's going to win majors
GARCIA 4-1-0 Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers He'll be defined by his great Ryder Cup play
CASEY 2-0-2 Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers Walk-off ace the coolest thing I've seen in golf
KARLSSON 0-1-2 Owns home in Florida Seve says second is for losers U.S. TV only wanted to talk about his height
HARRINGTON 0-4-1 Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers Played like crap but promoted Ireland well
DONALD 3-0-0 Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers The next Nick Faldo rode Sergio's coattails some
MCGINLEY 0-1-2 Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers Classy move conceding putt to Henry on 18
OLAZABAL 3-0-0 Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers Every time I looked he was making a big putt
CLARKE 3-0-0 Loves to kick American butt Seve says second is for losers Even I almost cried when he finished
WESTWOOD 3-0-2 Seve says second is for losers Seve says second is for losers Thomas Bjorn can shut up now about this pick
WOOSNAM - Steady as she goes Seve says second is for losers Was Woosie a genius, or were his players hot?


U.S. PRESSURE INDEX KEY

--Wants lastshot--like Mike

--Be happy thathe's on your side

--Sometimes ahero

--Calling Dr.Phil

--Where's ChrisRiley?

EUROPE PRESSUREINDEX KEY

--Seve sayssecond is for losers

--Loves to kickAmerican butt

--Steady as shegoes

--Owns home inFlorida

--Keep a lighton, please

Golf Plus willnext appear with the Oct. 16 Sports Illustrated.

TIGER TRACKER

What kind of cat was he today?
PUSSYCAT
ALLEY CAT
MAN-EATER

MAN-EATER
Woods was among the first Americans to congratulate Clarke, not for defeatingJohnson in his singles match or for the European win but for finding his wayback to golf's main stage after the death of his wife, Heather. There's morehuman being in Woods than we'll probably ever know.

KEY STAT

6

Matches won by the U.S. out of 28. Ouch! Tiger winsmore often playing against entire fields.

New Math

The U.S. reeked, as did the ratings, down 30% from'02, the last Ryder abroad

TIME DIFFERENCE + REPORTS OF EURO ROUT + TAPE DELAY ONFRIDAY-SATURDAY - TIVO  =  RATINGS DEBACLE

PHOTOROBERT BECK  SICKFEELING Henry got a gift half point, a fraction of the lowly 3 1/2 won by theU.S. in singles. SEVEN PHOTOSROBERT BECK (CLINTON, MICKELSON); PGA OF AMERICA (PGA LOGO); SIMON BRUTY (TOMS); PAT DOYLE/CORBIS (PUSSYCAT); CORBIS (ALLEY CAT); DORLING KINDERSLEY/GETTY IMAGES (TIGER) TEN PHOTOSROBERT BECK (WOODS AND WILLIAMS, OPENING CEREMONY, CLARKE AND WESTWOOD, CLOCK, GARCIA); LAURENT REBOURS/AP (WOODS AND MICKELSON); SIMON BRUTY (WOOSNAM); NBC (NBC LOGO); TIVO INC./AP (TIVO) PHOTOERIC GAY/AP (AXLEY)TROPHY WIFE After a 71 and a win, Axley got a hug from the missus, Cortney. TWO PHOTOSDAVID WALBERG (MORGAN); SIMON BRUTY (MONTGOMERIE) TWO PHOTOSDAVID E. KLUTHO (JORDAN); JOHN IACONO (BALLESTEROS)

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)