Just My Type

June 01, 2008

The Interview
Mark Cuban
DANCER

The tech mogul also owns the Dallas Mavericks.

Dan Patrick: Are you now more known now for Dancing with the Stars than owning the Mavericks?

Mark Cuban: Absolutely. They tell you when you go on the show that you can come up with a cure for cancer, but you'll always be known for Dancing with the Stars.

DP: Why is Avery Johnson no longer your coach?

MC: There's just times when things work until they don't. When they stop working, one of the most difficult things is to try to recapture what had worked before. Avery overworked himself to a fault, and I think that made it tougher for us to get back on track. Once you lose that connection to people, it's tough to get it back.

DP: Can you wear out your welcome as an owner?

MC: Nope, 'cause I write the checks.

DP: Do you care if Josh Howard smokes pot?

MC: I'd be a hypocrite if I said yes, because I've inhaled. And when I've inhaled, I've coughed a couple of lungs out, so I was never a big fan of smoking. But if I have tried it, I can't look at somebody and say, you know, "How can you try it? That's just terrible."

DP: Do you think he was smoking during the season?

MC: I don't. I've been around it, I've been there, and it's not so hard to tell. We've had situations in the past with players where we thought it was an issue. And we traded them, cut them.

DP: When you go to a Cubs game, do you go to be seen?

MC: I go to have fun.

DP: But you still want to buy this team, right?

MC: Uh-huh.

DP: So how do you go about this? It's like there's a girl you want to notice you, she's expensive and you may not even have a shot at her.

MC: Well, I don't think that's the way this situation works. If there's a hooker you want, it all comes down to price, right? I think that's a better analogy.

DP: So the Cubs are your hooker.

MC: Well, yes, bad choice of words.

DP: Metaphorically.

MC: Metaphorically. Oh, that's just going to get ripped apart, I know.

What Are the Chances?

BOBO HOLLOMAN, who pitched for the St. Louis Browns in 1953, had a career record of 3--7, but one no-hitter. Roger Clemens, Steve Carlton and Greg Maddux have 1,033 combined wins—and not a single no-no. It's just proof that chance plays a big role in getting one. Boston's Jon Lester (above) said as much after his no-hitter last week, humbly pointing out that the bloops and line drives all need to find somebody's glove. He should know: a lefty, in Fenway—and coming back from cancer? Talk about overcoming the odds.

Reasons NFL Players Missed Voluntary Workouts

[This article contains a complex diagram. Please see hardcopy of magazine or PDF.]

Was on Dancing with the Stars, .1%

Was watching Dancing with the Stars, 29%

Roger Goodell wouldn't reinstate me, 1.7%

Wanted to finish bag of Cheetos first, 12%

Was sitting on sofa thinking about tire drills and became ill, 34%

In Leavenworth, .1%

Want to play for a winner, and we have no chance, so I'm sitting out in protest, 14%

Between steroid cycles right now, 9%

Just hanging out in Mississippi on my tractor, .1%

THE FINE PRINT: Crooked NBA ref Tim Donaghy is facing 25 years in prison and a $500,000 fine. His lawyer wants it reduced to two shots and the ball on the side.

Go to DANPATRICK.COM for more from Mark Cuban, and hear live audio of Dan's radio show, 9 a.m. to noon Mon.--Fri.

Bring On the Loser Bowl

THE NBA LOTTERY doesn't work. The really bad teams never get the top pick—last week's was won by Chicago, the team with the ninth-worst record. Here's what I'd love to see: On the day after the regular season ends, in the lull before the playoffs, have the two teams with the worst records play each other for the rights to the top pick. It's a beautiful solution: The teams that most need help are assured of getting it, and you have a new must-watch game.

PHOTOJIM ROGASH/GETTY IMAGES (LESTER) PHOTOBILL KOSTROUN/AP (CUBAN) ILLUSTRATIONILLUSTRATION BY KEITH WITMER CHART

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)