The End Is Near

Apocalypse Now: There were signs everywhere
December 29, 2008

Arsenalgoalkeeper Manuel Almunia was excused from practice to rush home to his wife,who said she had seen a ghost.
(March 3)

During a booksigning in Chicago, Jose Canseco rejected a cup of coffee left for him becausehe thought it might be poisoned.
(April 14)

Some in the crowdof 57,000 booed when Boston was mentioned during the papal Mass at YankeeStadium.
(April 28)

An English soccerplayer was fined $2,600 for hitting a nightclub doorman in the head with hisgirlfriend's handbag.
(July 14)

An eight-year-oldgirl was kicked out of a tennis tournament in New Zealand for wearing a hiddenearpiece to receive coaching from her father.
(Aug. 4)

A motorizedwheelchair was stolen and driven out of the Metrodome as its 17-year-old ownerwatched a Twins game.
(Aug. 11)

The city ofKannapolis, N.C., took down flags honoring native son Dale Earnhardt becauseMartha Stewart was coming to town.
(Aug. 18)

A 33-year-oldGreen Bay woman allegedly stole her estranged 15-year-old daughter's identityand enrolled in high school because she wanted to be a cheerleader.
(Sept. 22)

An Elgin, Ill.,student had to remove a Cubs jersey she wore to her high school because astaffer thought FUKUDOME was a curse word.
(Oct. 13)

Until it waschanged in November, the test for Australian citizenship included questionsabout cricket.
(Dec. 1)

Bengals receiverChad Johnson was at a Best Buy at 5:25 a.m. on Black Friday to buy Rock Band2.
(Dec. 8)

Go Figure

256
Career losses by British welterweight Peter Buckley, 39, who retired in Octoberafter 300 fights.

16
Consecutive losing seasons by the Pirates, tying them with the 1933--48Phillies for the longest streak in any major professional sport.

66
Runs surrendered by Kawamoto technical high school of Japan in the first 1 1/3innings of a game against Shunshukan; at that point Kawamoto forfeited andShunshukan was credited with a 9--0 win.

$2.6 million
Amount that Nevada sports books lost on the Super Bowl (of $92.1 millionbet).

1
Previous Super Bowl losses in the past 17 years for Nevada books: $400,000 in1995.

They All Said It All in 2008

DOC RIVERS
Celtics coach, after being asked how long Kevin Garnett would be out with astrained abdominal muscle: "You know Doc's a nickname, correct?"
(Feb. 11)

JOHN CALIPARI
Memphis coach, on whether freshman guard Derrick Rose would leave for the NBA:"If he wants to do what's right for him and his family, he'll go pro. If hewants to do what's right for me and my family, he'll stay."
(April 7)

KYRYLO FESENKO
Jazz center, to a writer whose media credential was dated 20008: "Were yousent here to kill us all?"
(April 21)

COCO CRISP
Red Sox outfielder, on the team's decision to stop fans from spreadingcremation ashes at Fenway Park: "It's kind of freaky knowing you're divinginto somebody's grandpa."
(May 19)

ELAINE FULPS
Sixty-year-old fan, who won a $10,000 funeral at a Grand Prairie AirHogs minorleague game: "I almost croaked many times. God has me around for a reason:to win a funeral."
(June 16)

BILL WERBER
The oldest living ex--major leaguer (he's 100), on today's players: "Thehair's too long. Their beards are too evident. They're a grubby-looking bunchof caterwaulers."
(July 28)

TERRY FRANCONA
Red Sox manager, when asked who was tougher to handle, his 14-year-old daughteror petulant slugger Manny Ramirez: "I plead the eighth."
(Aug. 4)

RALPH NADER
To Politico.com, on his response to The Washington Post's saying it wouldn'tcover his presidential campaign because he has no chance of winning: "Thenwhy are you covering the Nationals?"
(Sept. 29)

PHOTOJOHN BIEVER (FUKUDOME) PHOTOTRIXIE TEXTOR/GETTY IMAGES (NADER) PHOTOPHOTOFEST (TERMINATOR) PHOTOBOB ROSATO (RIVERS) PHOTOMICHAEL E. KEATING/THE ENQUIRER (JOHNSON) PHOTOALESSANDRA TARANTINO/AP (POPE BENEDICT XVI)

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)