How Tweet It Was!

December 14, 2009

The adoption of Twitter by pro golfers has punched a hole in George Plimpton's theory that the smaller the ball, the better the writing. Undaunted, the SI Golf Plus Academy of Tweeting Arts and Sciences intrepidly presents the Birdie Awards for the (unedited!) Tweets of the year

Too Much Information in 140 Characters or Less

@Y_E_Yang I popped a vain in my eye, its all bloodshot and looks gross. Doctor says its cuz of stress and tiredness. good excuse to rest

@themichellewie Just went to the chiropractor never heard such loud cracks in my entire life. Wow

@stewartcink Wish I could've been there for my son last night. They had to give him sedation thru IV in order to set the bone. He was a trooper I heard.

@PGA_JohnDaly Relieved that all went good today at the hospital with my daughter!

@PGA_JohnDaly Let me clear up sorry thought everyone knew—she turned 17 last week & she wanted lap band surgery ... so ALL went perfect!

The Birdie goes to ...

@PGA_JohnDaly, for sharing this touching father-daughter band bond.

Most Pathetic Dig on Twitter by a Pro Golfer in a Nonsupportive Role

@Rorsmcilroy Only hole poulter hit it past me was on a par 3!!!!

@Richbeem No golf channel ... national geo is way more fun anyways!

@themichellewie: 3 words to describe @thechristinakim oh. Dear. Lord. Love her to death even though she called me gangely and a giraffe haha

@ianjamespoulter i guess [the USGA members] were all bored sitting around that table drinking coffee and smoking cigars ... get a life let us have fun on the course

The Birdie goes to ... no one!

Worst Decision to Hit SEND

@julietagranada So I'm still pissed about the ticket! I was only going 82 mph!!

@Y_E_Yang drinking beer with neighbours, manager getting hammered with fine blended whiskey (johnny blue!)

@themichellewie Just arrived in IL! Saw Julieta at the airport and she kindly told me where I was flying to haha I had no clue! Not so good at details :)

@PGA_JohnDaly [after the manager of his Memphis restaurant was shot in the parking lot] Business is great today been slammed—I don't think people knew I had a restaurant across street from Southwind? or they're just Curious?

The Birdie goes to...

@PGA_JohnDaly, for sheer volume of tasteless Tweets.

Best Use of Photography Via Twitter by a Pro Golfer

@ianjamespoulter 1 This Marquisjet plane is sweet. Citation sovereign, should be at USPGA in 1 hour 45 mins.

@stewartcink 2 Yang had a long night last night. Good thing the locker room couch folds out!

@PGA_JohnDaly 3 Arriving to the red carpet—had to hurry and sneak a pic

@stewartcink 4 This vending machine at T'berry locker room can meet ANY need that arises. 2nd to last one is condoms.

The Birdie goes to ...

@stewartcink, for Tweeting what Ben Hogan had long wanted to say about the '53 Open at Carnoustie.

Most Profound Tweet

@Rorsmcilroy Having a puppy is harder work than you think!

@Richbeem Cow pissing on a flat rock here. Wow!!!!

@themichellewie Did u know that slugs have 4 noses?

@themichellewie Did you know that babies are born without knee caps? Weird!

The Birdie goes to ...

@themichellewie [who also revealed]: Did u know that when a baby giraffe is born it falls 6ft to the ground w/out getting hurt???

Most Creative Dig at a Tour Venue

@stewartcink Got to see the "new and improved" Cog Hill today. Three of four par threes played exactly 218 to the stick today. The other was longer.

@geoffogilvy One of the better days of my year. It is at least 360 days till I have to play Firestone again

The Birdie goes to ...

@geoffogilvy, to compensate for the inevitable PGA Tour fine his Tweet induced.

Best Handling of Hecklers, Stalkers and Other Loose Cannons

@TheChristinaKim I wonder if some people are subconsciously asking to be blocked? Why can't we post positive things, if even only once a week? :-/

@TheChristinaKim Some guy spent the last twenty minutes standing behind me at the bar smelling me. A girl called him out, so he tried talking to me. Scary!!

@ianjamespoulter please jump out of your own arse and don't insult my intelligence you ignorant, simple, dense little man

The Birdie goes to ...

@ianjamespoulter, for clarity of meaning.

Worst Usage

@SophieGustafson I've got these shoes sent to me. Anyone thinks it's a misstake??

@bubbawatson I am glad that's over. I am rusty after month and a half break. Go thing I have already looked my card up for next year! Your welcome

@ianjamespoulter Look at all my spelling mistakes i right too fast and i dont read over them when i hit send. i'm sure you all understand.

The Birdie goes to ...

@bubbawatson, for sheer audacity. Or is it sheer obtusity?

FOUR PHOTOS

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)