Search

Musical Shares

Aug. 26, 2013
Aug. 26, 2013

Table of Contents
Aug. 26, 2013

SI.com
LEADING OFF
THE MAIL
THEMMQB.COM
SOCCER
  • FRIEND OF POPES, LOVER OF PIGS, OFTEN-TAUNTED SYMBOL OF AN INCREASINGLY MULTIRACIAL EUROPE—MARIO BALOTELLI IS A LIGHTNING ROD FOR ATTENTION. AT 23, ITALY'S STAR FORWARD ALSO HAS TALENT THAT'S EVERY BIT AS ELECTRIC AS HIS PERSONALITY

Musical Shares

A few sports ownership deals we'd like to see

This is an article from the Aug. 26, 2013 issue

Aging rockers KISS last week announced they will be buying an Arena Football League team that will be based in Anaheim. In that spirit, allow us to suggest that these bands get in on the act and make the following purchases.

GWAROakland Raiders

The owners would blend in nicely with their fan base.

MAROON 5Cleveland Cavaliers

To paraphrase Pulp Fiction's Mia Wallace, the Cavs wear maroon and there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of them.

CHEAP TRICKPhiladelphia Flyers

The Broad Street Bullies have ranked first or second in penalty minutes in four of the last five seasons.

ONE DIRECTIONCleveland Browns

The team has been traveling in one direction—down—for years.

THE WHONashville Predators

Seriously, who are they?

CHICAGOChicago Cubs

Neither Second City institution has done anything meaningful in decades.

PRINCENew England Revolution

Kind of goes without saying.

POP CULTURE GRID...

View this article in the original magazine

What athletes are thinkingGo-to karaoke songDish that'd make me a winner on Top ChefChore I refuse to doFirst thing I do in the morningOur locker room smelled like ...I miss my ...
Brandi ChastainDefenderNever done karaokeBraised short ribsDustingPee, then eat breakfastRosesParents
Julie FoudyMidfielder"Summer Nights"Lucky CharmsIroningChug a gallon of coffeeGrassAbility to go from 0 to 80 in .5 of a second
Mia HammForward"Rocky Top"Roasted chickenCleaning the toiletGet my son his milkWet grass20/20 vision

+ The three U.S. soccer pioneers agreed that Foudy, who answered by breaking into song, had the best pipes. "I'll do the duet on my own," she said of the Grease hit. As for Hamm's love of "Rocky Top," she says, "I don't know why. I'm not from Tennessee."

+ Her "secret": "It's all in the milk. One percent. I'm very discerning."

+ "One percent for him."

They Said It

"If you have ice with Coke, you can have indigestion."

Paolo Di CanioManager of Premier League team Sunderland, explaining why he banned his players from drinking soda on the rocks—not to mention mayonnaise, ketchup, cellphones and singing in the shower. (He also announced his daughter was banned from eating cheeseburgers.)

EXTRA MUSTARD ON SI.COM

To get up close with Matt Fitzpatrick, this week's breakout performer presented by Schick, go to SI.com/breakout

PHOTOPAUL SAKUMA/AP (RAIDERS FAN)PHOTOED SYKES/ACTION IMAGES/ZUMAPRESS.COM (DI CANIO)PHOTOAL GRAHAM/RETNA (GWAR)PHOTOTOM GRILL/GETTY IMAGES (MILK)PHOTOUNIVERSAL MUSIC GROUP (GREASE)PHOTOGENERAL MILLS (LUCKY CHARMS)PHOTOTAMARA STAPLES/GETTY IMAGES (DUSTER)PHOTOKRIS CONNOR/GETTY IMAGES (HAMM)PHOTOJASON KEMPIN/GETTY IMAGES (FOUDY)PHOTOSTEVE GRANITZ/WIREIMAGE (CHASTAIN)PHOTOGETTY IMAGES (ROSES)