DURING AN interview with Howard Stern last week Larry David, a die-hard Jets fan, said he thought he could be a good offensive coordinator—and that he'd go for it on fourth down often, making him a sort of latter-day Bill Parcells. The suggestion stimulated some thought about what type of coach other comedians might make.
Superconservative would run up the middle twice and quick kick on third down, though in his heart he wouldn't believe it's a winning strategy.
Profane, intense, possibly overrated, he'd flame out at the highest levels and return to more welcoming college audiences.
Fast talking, fast moving and always going on about the culture, he'd get a lot of attention without actually doing much of note.
Stout, hardworking Midwesterner who loves a challenge and isn't afraid to be offensive.
Press conferences would be droll, deadpan and monotone—and occasionally brilliant with hints at life's deeper mysteries.
SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
One of the potential jurors in the Aaron Hernandez murder trial was dismissed after he showed up in a Bruins jersey and yelled, "Go Pats!"