Comic Relief

Laughter along the sidelines
January 19, 2015

DURING AN interview with Howard Stern last week Larry David, a die-hard Jets fan, said he thought he could be a good offensive coordinator—and that he'd go for it on fourth down often, making him a sort of latter-day Bill Parcells. The suggestion stimulated some thought about what type of coach other comedians might make.

STEPHEN COLBERT

Superconservative would run up the middle twice and quick kick on third down, though in his heart he wouldn't believe it's a winning strategy.

NFL ANALOGUE

MARVIN LEWIS

DANE COOK

Profane, intense, possibly overrated, he'd flame out at the highest levels and return to more welcoming college audiences.

NFL ANALOGUE

JIM HARBAUGH

KEVIN HART

Fast talking, fast moving and always going on about the culture, he'd get a lot of attention without actually doing much of note.

NFL ANALOGUE

CHIP KELLY

MELISSA MCCARTHY

Stout, hardworking Midwesterner who loves a challenge and isn't afraid to be offensive.

NFL ANALOGUE

MIKE MCCARTHY

STEVEN WRIGHT

Press conferences would be droll, deadpan and monotone—and occasionally brilliant with hints at life's deeper mysteries.

NFL ANALOGUE

BILL BELICHICK

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

One of the potential jurors in the Aaron Hernandez murder trial was dismissed after he showed up in a Bruins jersey and yelled, "Go Pats!"

PHOTOANDREW HARRER/GETTY IMAGES (COLBERT) PHOTOROBIN MARCHANT/GETTY IMAGES (COOK) PHOTOGILBERT CARRASQUILLO/GC IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES (HART) PHOTOJON KOPALOFF/FILMMAGIC/GETTY IMAGES (MCCARTHY) PHOTOSCOTT GRIES/GETTY IMAGES FOR COMEDY CENTRAL (WRIGHT) PHOTOCJ GUNTHER/REUTERS (HERNANDEZ)

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)