BACK FROM THE BRINK

September 14, 2015

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: How closely was your medical condition linked to your risky behavior?

SUZY FAVOR HAMILTON: The risky behavior was because of the bipolar disorder and because of [the antidepressant I was taking]. If you Google bipolar, you'll see that two of its characteristics are risky sex and hypersexuality. The [antidepressant] brought on the hypersexuality, and the bipolar condition made it completely out of control. I was delusional. I couldn't see that what I was doing was wrong.

SI: Your husband has been very supportive and stuck by you. Why do you think he supported your choice to be an escort?

SFH: He definitely didn't support it. He was trying desperately to get me out. But he also enabled me. He didn't know who to turn to. As hard as he pushed, there was no way I could leave [escorting]. I was the happiest I had ever been. Looking back, he even told me he [preferred] the manic Suzy [to] the depressed Suzy. I was easier to deal with. Obviously in my mind he is the hero because he could so easily have taken my daughter and deserted me.

SI: Have you decided what you are going to tell your daughter about your life as an escort?

SFH: We have already educated her, with help from psychologists and a sexual therapist who deals with children. First of all [we told her] that her mommy's mind wasn't working right. She knows exactly what I did in Vegas. And she understands that that behavior was part of the illness. She's nine now. Kids know so much more than we think they know [about] sex. She's adapted to it and looks at [my behavior with] understanding and compassion. She's not focused on the sex.

SI: If you hadn't gotten caught, would you still be an escort?

SFH: Absolutely. It fed my mania. I would most likely be dead, though, and wouldn't be able to tell this story to help others. I've cried in so many interviews about the pain I've caused so many people, and that's the worst part of dealing with all this. I hope the book won't cause more pain to my loved ones, but I feel it's necessary to tell this story because there are so many people silently suffering, [unable to] speak out because of the stigma [of bipolar condition] or the fear of losing a loved one or a job. It's time that we as a society look at bipolar condition in a serious manner, and I believe we are starting to do that.

HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)