Patrick Mahomes Makes America a Better Place

Tucker D. Franklin

Back before Patrick Mahomes signed the largest contract in American sports history, People Magazine released a list of 100 reasons to love America this year and a familiar name made the list. 

Not only did Mahomes make the list, he ranked as the No. 12 reason to love America this year.

People released the list on June 23 and said, “In these unprecedented and challenging times, we can still applaud the nation's ingenuity, optimism — and pursuit of equality.”

Mahomes is pretty high on the list, and now he could probably afford to buy his way to the top if he wanted, so let’s look at some things Mahomes is ahead of.

Coming in at No. 14 is ESPN's The Last Dance. The documentary that seemly got America past the dog days of quarantine pales in comparison to the great and mighty Patrick Mahomes.

Mahomes also comes in front of several celebrities such as Samuel L. Jackson, Prince Harry and Meghan, Demi Lovato, Shawn Mendes, Jason Derulo, Elmo and Brad Pitt.

According to the folks at People, Patrick Mahomes is also better than other Top-100 list-makers including The Cuomo Brothers, Peeps, birth control pills and teachers.

Ask Chiefs fans in Kansas City and they would probably already tell you that Mahomes makes America better than stress baking, Chesapeake Bay Candles, outside decor and house cats.

But there are some things that Mahomes is ranked higher than that are questionable. While, yes, Mahomes brought an abundance of joy to the Kansas City metro, it can’t even compare to the joy Animal Crossing brought our own Joshua Brisco.

Putting Mahomes in front of doctors and nurses is a bold move, to say the least, considering we are still in the thick of a pandemic. Also, penguins walking around museums at No. 87 is criminally low.

As America still finds itself reeling from racial injustices and a global pandemic, one thing is for sure: Patrick Mahomes makes America a better place.


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