Death. Taxes. Triple-digit temperatures in July in Dallas-Fort Worth. And, another insufferable tradition, Dallas Cowboys fans bemoaning their team's dual-role, one-man front office.
Altogether now ... "Jerry the owner should fire Jerry the general manager!"
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Despite 25 seasons with a litany of player personnel gaffes and without a hint of a Super Bowl, we all know Jerry Jones - even at 78 - isn't about to relinquish control of America's Team.
Or is he?
In a Sunday sit-down interview with Fox4's Mike Doocy, Jones did his usual tap dance around the direct question. As only Jerry can, he left a crack in the door but also barricaded himself firmly in place with a characteristic coy wink.
At last week's opening press conference to kick off training camp in Oxnard, California, Jones said "I'd do anything known to man to get back to a Super Bowl."
So, for the gazillionth time, would he consider replacing himself with an outside general manager?
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"It's a very good question," Jones said. "But only the man upstairs knows whether it would work or not. I'm always looking for ways to improve. But my philosophy remains that the best way to get to a decision is the quickest way, and the quickest way is to have the guy with the checkbook be involved at the ground level. Doing it that way has had a lot of advantages over the years."
The only new hint of change Jones allowed was a seemingly open mind about adding a former player, not as general manager per se, but perhaps in a personnel advisory role. Where it's worked around the NFL with Ozzie Newsome (Baltimore Ravens), John Elway (Denver Broncos) and John Lynch (San Francisco 49ers), might it be a possibility at The Star in Frisco with, say, Troy Aikman?
"I would consider it and I do consider it," Jones admitted. "I would not be averse to that. ... I'd put Troy at the head of the list if we were gonna make a decision as far as football personnel."
Aikman, of course, is cozy with his lead analyst gig at Fox and is in no way lobbying for a job that doesn't exist. At the same time, he recently told our Mike Fisher that he does believe he could succeed as a GM. ... but that Dallas, as much as he might like it, might be a tough fit.
“It’s a long shot in Dallas,'' he told Fisher. "I think it’s always been a long shot in Dallas for the simple reason that it’s a family affair. With Jerry having two sons and Stephen, of course, he’s been working in the front office ever since the team was bought. They’re not in need of that type of person, I’ve always known that.”
So, rinse and repeat, Jerry the owner is not about to fire Jerry the general manager.
"Look, it turns out I have the general manager's job and the owner's job," Jones said with his trademark wink. "But we all know Stephen (Jones) runs it."