Parade Day Pain: Chiefs' Tragedy Conjures Cowboys' Violent 1993 Celebration
WHITT'S END 2.16.24:
Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Like I first did more than 30 years ago, I wonder if we’ve seen our last sports parade.
It was “just” a domestic dispute between two juveniles this week. But if 800 law enforcement officials can’t keep innocent bystanders safe – one dead, 20+ injured by gunfire – at the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl parade then is it an event worth celebrating?
What Kansas City was forced to swallow on Wednesday, Dallas got a bitter taste of on Feb. 9, 1993.
Couple weeks after the Cowboy won Super Bowl XXVII – ending a 15-year championship drought – an estimated 400,000 fans flocked to downtown for the parade. (One million showed up in K.C.) As Cowboys players attempted to roll through the streets in convertibles, frenzied fans bolted around barricades and surrounded them for photos, autographs or even a ride. Fights broke out randomly, instigated by roving groups of – you guessed it – juveniles.
Splendid quickly deteriorated into scary.
(To this day, the violence at that supposedly unifying, celebratory event is jarring.)
By the end of the parade 14 people were arrested, 24 hospitalized and one car was engulfed in fire.
Since then we’ve gotten smarter and safer, placing players atop flatbed trucks. But if America was reminded of anything this week, it’s that large crowds and guns are a deadly mix.
No matter the purpose of the party.
*In honor of Monday’s President’s Day, shout out to former namesake Cowboys:
James Washington, Flozell Adams, Mike Jefferson, Joe Jackson, Carlos Polk, Alex Taylor, Brett Pierce, Buck Buchanan, Lincoln Coleman, Jimmy Johnson, Orantes Grant, Bob Hayes, Cedrick Wilson, Calvin Hill, Bernard Ford, and Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.
Most Presidential Cowboy of all-time: Jimmy Johnson? Bob Hayes? Calvin Hill?
I narrow it down to a runoff: John Fitzgerald or Quincy Carter?
Surely a couple of them visited the team’s “White House?”
*Yes, Daniel Gafford has made an immediate, positive impact on the Dallas Mavericks. Newly acquired center had 14 rebounds in a game this week … in the first half. Mavs have won a season-high six in a row. But all that pales in comparison to the ball-handling wizardry and creativity of Kyrie Irving. I could try to explain this shot, or just let you watch it yourself. (Reminder: Victor Wembanyama is 7-foot-4.)
*One of the funniest movies ever made remains unmistakable, uncomfortable, and proudly un-woke … 50 years after it was unwanted and almost unreleased. Happy half-a-hundred, "Blazing Saddles.'' Only two main characters from the flick are alive and kicking: Mel Brooks and Dallas’ own treasure, Burton Gilliam.
*Beware drafting Jayden Daniels. Not that the LSU quarterback isn’t multi-talented. But the passing of another NFL season extends one of sports’ quirkiest trends: The last 25 quarterbacks to win the Heisman Trophy have failed to win a Super Bowl. The last to do both: Jim Plunkett, who won the Heisman at Stanford in 1970 and Super Bowl XV with the Raiders in 1981.
*Hot.
*Not.
*I’m not saying the 1990s Cowboys are the best dynasty in NFL history. But I’m dang sure demanding that they’re in the Top 5. For a network that can’t go one day without talking Cowboys, this is an inexcusable snub.
*It’s not you, it’s them! A new study ranks America’s worst drivers and, not surprisingly, North Texas sucks. Dallas comes in at No. 6; Fort Worth 9th. The rankings are based on fatal accidents, DWIs and speeding.
Not sure if it’s misplaced entitlement or some imaginary race that only they’re aware of, but excessive speed is out of control in DFW. 90 on the freeway. 53 in a 35 on city streets. Lane-changing jockeying to be first in line at traffic lights. And the absolute panic-stricken urgency to zip over to the far left “fast” lane, as if that’s where all the oxygen lives.
I’ll admit, as a teenager I drove like a bat out of Hell. But then I developed skills and produced achievements that bumped “really fast driver” off the top of my resume.
Dallas suffers 6.25 fatal crashes for every 100,000 drivers, highest ratio in America. Albuquerque, New Mexico is No. 1 on the dubious list. Moral to the story: Slow. Down.
*New Mavs’ majority owner and “governor” Patrick Dumont on his planned working relationship with Mark Cuban: “I think it benefits the organization to have someone who’s as deeply experienced as Mark contributing and participating. But ultimately, Nico (Harrison) is the GM and I’m the owner.”
Ouch. For selling the team Cuban walked away with $4 billion, but precious little control.
*I’m not a great at math but I do know a losing equation when I see one. America has four percent of the world’s population but 46 percent of the guns. Some claim guns aren’t the problem, but rather criminals and mental health. Maybe, but every country has criminals and residents with mental health problems. No one, however, accentuates them with bullets like the U.S. A country with 1/25th of the planet’s people commits 3/4th of the planet’s mass shootings. Losing. Equation.
*I’m ready to announce that Emmitt Smith’s all-time NFL rushing mark is not only safe, but also the most unbreakable record in sports. Hear me out: The Top 35 – and 74 of the best 76 – running backs are retired. Emmitt broke Walter Payton’s record in 2002 and finished with 18,355 yards.
The closest active runner is Derrick Henry (74th all-time), who is barely halfway to Emmitt at 9,502. Second-closest active? Ezekiel Elliott, more than 10,000 yards behind.
Nobody’s hot on Emmitt’s trail. Nobody’s on the distant horizon. And, given the diminished role of the running back in today’s NFL, nobody’s catching him.
*This week’s “Damn, I’m old!” moment was brought to me by the waitress at a restaurant last weekend who had to Google “Gilligan’s Island” when I told her she resembled “Mary Ann.”
Speaking of that show, for years the castaways tried desperately to get off the island while these days everyone is seeking similar solitude, simplicity and safety. Surrounded by water or not, the grass always seems greener.
*Stumbled onto a sad sight this week: Once upon a time Avery Johnson coached the Mavs to a 2-0 lead in the NBA Finals. But these days he’s merely part of a three-man announcing crew doing college basketball games in the Mountain West Conference.
*It’s not a Lent thing but more of a willpower thing. Just for fun, I pondered giving up alcohol for a month. Not drinking is easy. Avoiding social drinking situations, however, is almost impossible. Developing situation …
*The bar is set pretty darn high for incoming Cowboys’ defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer. Under Dan Quinn, they ranked seventh, fifth and fifth in points allowed and totaled a league-leading 93 takeaways on teams that went a combined 36-15 with two division titles and a playoff win.
Said Zimmer, honestly: “We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel here.”
Said Zimmer, wistfully: “I’m not a jerk.”
*This Weekend? Friday let’s go to a birthday party. Saturday let’s escort Big Brothers Big Brothers Big Sisters lil’ bro Ja on a fire department tour. Sunday’s let’s visit the family down in JoCo Mofo. As always, don’t be a stranger.
